Sunday, June 1, 2014

The night I was just wasting time....

So far... I have filled in our calendar for June... I have three days in the month that are completely blank... I'm sure that I will find something to do those days... maybe a nap???

I have a small tightening in my chest thinking about it... I'm sure I will forget something... maybe not, but if we make it everywhere we are supposed to be...we are going to need to take the month of July off...

I have organized the desk... highlighted important things to remind me to do... sent texts to remind others to do things... and checked facebook.... I haven't been on there stalking in a few months... several reasons, but I had time...

Still have time... so I decided to write this down... might just be another one of those memories that need recording....

Last fall after a football game, Mark, KB, Ben, and I sat on the couch and watched the story on Elizabeth Smart.... never in my mind did I think it would bother my child... but it did... ten months later... and she still hasn't slept upstairs... Ben never has.... so... we redid the upstairs and it peaked their interests in their rooms... and Ben wants so badly to stay up there... but KB wouldn't until tonight... so we will see...

As I sit here... I am waiting on the footsteps... the last drinks of water.... the one more kiss goodnight... yeah... at ten and fourteen... they still do all that... and I love it... every minute of it.  As happy as I am about not having KB talking all night in her sleep and Ben snoring... I am not sure I'm going to be able to sleep without those noises....

I look at it as one of those strings that you have to break for them to grow up... They are still attached to me... and I don't mind that at all.... I don't care if they act like the babies in their age groups... I don't care if people make fun of them... I don't care if people think we are crazy for letting them sleep in the room with us... Mark and I both grew up like this... and we turned out okay (or at least we haven't been arrested for breaking the law)....

I'm excited to see if this is going to be the night.... I'm sure they will think they need a prize... like a new car... or a go-cart... or heck... I might buy me something for letting them go upstairs... I miss them already...

I may or may not go nudge them to come back downstairs... I bet they wouldn't mind one more night of sleeping on the couch/floor in my room....

Yep- they are growing up... I have heard it too many times that they are only little for a little while... let them be close to you as long as they want because one day they are going to leave... I hope they will always come back home... no matter where they may roam... I hope they will always want to be at our house... I hope they will always know we have their backs... and I hope they will always know that we love them more than our own lives!

So--- I have wasted time typing this... but one day... I hope they read it and think the following:

Wow... we were scared to sleep upstairs... that's crazy
Humph... Mama was just as scared for us sleeping upstairs as we were because she was going to miss us

And finally... I hope they read this and know that I love them with every breath....


As they sit there tonight looking at the ceiling... waiting on the sleep to hit them... I hope they are talking to God... and telling him to watch over them... to keep them safe.... to have sweet dreams.... because that is what I am doing!   

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