Tuesday, April 30, 2019

From That... to This!!!



AUGUST 2018                                                                                  APRIL 2019

What a difference a few months make!  The first picture is the day in August that I had worried for months about... I was worried that you would step out into the world and change... grow up too fast... and become someone who didn't need her mama anymore... I was worried about you leaving the comfortable nest you had been in for 18 years.  So I prayed for you... over and over and over...

Those first few months were hard... it was hard to watch each week with tears in your eyes as you left us on Sunday afternoons... it was hard to sit at the table for supper and you not be there... it was hard for us to go out to eat and say "three" instead of four... it was hard to sleep soundly at night knowing you weren't in our nest.... So I prayed for you.... over and over and over...

You did change... you learned to be an advocate for yourself... you learned to ask questions to teachers who didn't know your mama... you learned what a true work environment was... the good and bad... you learned that hard work has rewards.... Not many people can say they leave their freshman year with 4.0... Your Uncle Jim and I know that a grade point average doesn't really matter... but I'm still proud of you! 

You did grow up fast.... you learned to make grocery lists, you learned to organize your schedule with work and school... and you learned to be an adult and keep your mouth shut when you didn't really agree with someone!  I worried you would be vulnerable stepping out of the bubble you had grown up in... I worried you would be run over like a freight train by kids much smarter than you... and I worried you would be on anxiety medicine to make it through your first year of school.  So I prayed for you... over and over and over...

The one thing that didn't happen was not needing me anymore... While I wasn't always able to answer your 7:47 AM phone calls each day... or the 8:50 AM ones... or the 9:30 PM ones... my heart felt good to know that you still felt the need to call me all times of the day and night.... even if it was just to tell me you saw a cat or a squirrel or found a good snack.... thank you for making me feel loved more than I ever deserve!  I'm so glad you still need me... So I pray for you now... and will always pray for you... over and over and over....

The last picture is you coming in the house tonight... those tears and fears and worries and anxiety in the first picture are completely gone tonight... you are home... you have survived your freshman year of college... and it was way more than I expected it to be for you!   In the fall you will return to Clemson as a JUNIOR... I know it won't be easy to let you go again.... So I will pray for you... over and over and over... 

Tonight... I'm just thanking God that you are under our roof and smiling!  You and Ben have a lot of catching up to do... Welcome home baby girl.... for now I will pray for you to be happy while you are home... over and over and over!

PS... Could you get all those things that I thought you needed to make a dorm room cute put up so your room doesn't look like a tornado?  My house won't be clean until August! 

Monday, April 29, 2019

Boy, I sure do miss Butchie today...












The Woodruff High School Golf Team competed today for the Region 3-AAA Tournament at Lakeside Country Club.  Their story will be special one day... not for their scores... not for their accomplishments... not for their victories... but for the friendship that this team has.  

 Competing against teams around us means that we already know what their teams are capable of and what we have to do to be successful.  These boys have been practicing as a team since February, and this morning began the first competition to take them to state.
 Our team of nine got to play the first five.  From those five, the top four scores count.  Through many competitions on the course, Daniel, Trey, Gage, Ben, and Chase led WHS on the course today.  I really wish that the grade levels were beside these boys' names because I'm thinking that no other team is as young as ours.  Gage and Ben are 8th graders and the rest are in the 10th grade.
 Chase-- I call him Ben's twin.  I even took a picture today with Coach Craig with his arm around Chase thinking what a great picture it was of Coach with Ben.  When I got up closer I realized it was Chase.  I love that Chase thinks like me... after the round today --where I could hardly take a deep breath, I told Katie Britt to go get me a coke... and Chase wanted a Mountain Dew... his mama packs him emergency ones for the rounds--- he had to settle for a Sprite, but we knew that drink would be a great sigh of relief.
 That devilish grin there is what really reminds me of Ben.  He loves to pick on people, put one toe across the line, and make comments that I can't help but smile about... even though I probably shouldn't.  I'm so glad to have shared this season with his humor.
 This boy... more about him later, but I took this picture to get that black looking caterpillar in the morning sunlight.  He doesn't think he needs to shave, but he does.... he couldn't wait to shave for the first time and now it takes threats to get him to do it!  This is right before he teed off in front of a lot of people... that always makes me nervous... can't imagine his feelings.
 As I am typing this, this girl is taking a final.... she loves to come see "Robert"...
 I tried to stay away from these two on the course... they sometimes say things when Ben hits a bad shot that make me mad.... I have to remind them he isn't perfect and he is only 15.
 Coop.... one of Ben's favorites... sweetest kid ever.  He was a blessing to be with Ben today because he kept him focused when Ben could have decided to let it go.  I offered him food and drink all day, but he didn't take anything... I think he is scared of Mark!
 Ben and Chase were playing criss-cross applesauce on the course.... they were hitting out of each other's fairways instead of their own.
 I can't imagine carrying a bag with clubs and all his junk... and a purple Crown Royal bag with tees... and a special ball marker... he doesn't use it... but it's there.... at the end of the day today, I could barely keep my eyes dry for thinking about how much Daddy would have loved being there....
 This is the grin you have when you know your mama is taking your picture and you are having a pretty good round...
 Coach "Bill" Brasington... he loves these boys... he gives his time (too much probably) making sure they have everything they need... what I admire most about him is that he gives up time watching his own son on the team to come help our boys with decisions that are important.  He gets a lot of 911 texts during the rounds since we can't talk to the boys!
 This is me trying to stay away from KB and Mark.... you know... so I don't have to hear them say... "that isn't in the fairway"  "that might be out"  "why did he hit it there".... they make me nervous or "tight" as Rocky says!
 One of our favorite things to do is watch the players come in on the 18th hole.
 Mark and Chase were waiting on Ben to hit his second shot on a par five going for the green OVER WATER.... I couldn't look... and I sure couldn't breathe....
 Walking up 18 to chip for an eagle....
 Decisions, decisions.... you hope for the best and pray he can make a par!
 Customary shaking of hands at the end of the round... he was all smiles as he finished his day with his lowest round ever in an 18 hole match.... 76.
 Gage deciding what to do on 18...
 He finished the day with a round in the 70s and of course they all think they should be shooting under par, but us mamas love a 70s round! I love Gage's attitude... he's the best spitfire I've ever met... he loves a challenge... and most of the time, he and Ben have a tie when the round is over... they are "spooky-scary alike" in many, many ways!
 Ty is another precious child who has the sweetest manners, sometimes hides from my camera, but always gives an encouraging hug to the guys when they come off the course! He had an awesome round a few weeks ago at Three Pines!
 These two are my hearts... she finishes school tomorrow... her freshman year... more to come on that later!
 As much as they are alike... they are so different... Mark's nerves can be seen by everyone... Ben's are hidden.... I laugh as I look at two of three men I have loved with all my heart!  Daddy wasn't there, but Ben's mannerisms, his actions, his devilment is Butch made over...all he needs is a cigarette!  Just teasing!
 Trey Baby... He has one motion... slow... and it's the BEST.... he doesn't get in a rush or hurry... he thinks about his shot... he takes his time... and he is always doing his best!  I'm thrilled that Ben has a someone to look up to and try to act like!
 Ben and Blake checking out Trey.... Blake has improved so much this year!  He supports his teammates and can be found "virtually" in my house often playing Fortnite with Ben.
 The reason Chase acts the way he does... Chuck... we have a good group of daddies that follow these boys around!
 Rocky has two to watch... there is no greater happiness than watching your children be successful at what they love... besides they know if they have a bad round that Rocky, Chuck, and Mark will pick on them!
 Trey coming out of the bunker... better than the water!
 I love the bond these boys have... they run when they see me coming to take their picture, but one day they will be so glad I was there....
 The thing I love most about golf is that it never ends... these boys can play together for the rest of their lives... until they are 100.... because golf is a sport that goes on and on..... I feel like they will be making even better memories in a few years!
 The two twins...
 and add this one... and there could be trouble!
 Daniel on 18.  I had the opportunity to teach him a couple of years ago, and he is the ideal student.... I also taught his sister many moons ago! Ben secretly wants to follow in his footsteps... but I've reminded him often that Daniel's grades are just as good as his golf game!
 Nothing makes you feel better after a round than a hug from your mama...
 unless of course it's your best friend!
 Our boys did well today... they all shot in the 70s and took first place in the region.
 Here's the great picture I took of Ben and Coach Craig... except it was Chase...
 Kyle grinning that devilish grin.... he can also be found "virtually" in my house some nights and he, Ben, and Gage left straight from this golf course to head back to Three Pines to play again!  Kyle also fools me sometimes because he looks like Ben and Gage too!
 The boys eating BBQ after the round!
 Nothing like BBQ in the hot, hot, hot sun!   It's a wonder they didn't get sick the way they ate it so fast!
Gage thinking he wants to know how Ben can eat all that macaroni and cheese!
Lunch time outside instead of a cafeteria wasn't so bad!  I'm not real sure why more boys don't sign up for golf... I mean during golf season they barely make it a week at school...
The top 8 scorers were chosen for All -Region... of course I had no idea this was given out, but I'm mad that our other two players didn't get it!  They were only one shot away from making it!  Today was Ben's turn, but they will get their turn... I'm sure of it!  As JoAnn said, "We are celebrating all of them!".
All those boys and the coach.... let's hope for the next two weeks we are taking pictures that make them smile like this!
Sis had to head back to Clemson, but she wanted a picture with her All Region brother.  Next week we may be low man on the totem pole, so we have to celebrate the wins... and learn from the character building days....
And "Mrs. Howard"... the one who keeps us all straight... whose heart is torn between two boys on the team... who has to think about too many things at once with both her babies out there... and keep me straight on where I'm supposed to be!

I'm so thankful to be a part of this village of boys... and these boys we do life with... their families will always be special... their families will always be a part of our lives... and these boys will always be low scorers in my book!

What a great day it's been.... the only thing missing was Butch saying, "Why the h3LL did you make a triple Boo?"!  I may have said it in his place, but I didn't say it out loud... does that count?

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Masters week has always been special... but this one....

*There are "words" in this post.  It's only appropriate when talking about Daddy!  

Masters week has always been special for as long as I can remember... my grandparents used to come from North Carolina during the Masters and we would see them after they had followed Arnold Palmer around all day... Daddy introduced me to the Masters when I was in the 2nd grade and I knew that day how special it was.....in high school I would go to see the dresses, eat the food, and watch my favorites... Payne Stewart and Hal Sutton.    Later, when I started dating Mark, we would head to Augusta as many days as we could have the tickets.... in the years after marriage we started planning our trips with Mike and Kathryn and sometimes Jefferson and Tatum were able to come too... I have so many memories of the Masters that are special, but I think my favorite is the time KB and I stayed until the end in the pouring down rain to see Adam Scott win.  It was cold, wet, and miserable.... but just like that day with Daddy... I knew it was special.  I have also laughed until I cried as Kathryn and I watched a woman stand in her panties and bra while trying to dry her clothes from the soaking rain... Masters week is special.  

I know some people will be "what the heck", but Daddy was cremated when he died.  I love to decorate with knick knacks, but I wasn't exactly sure what Daddy would be appropriate in to sit around the house... we discussed things and decided a bench with the ashes in it would be a good idea.  After talking with the bench maker, Mama decided for us not to do that either.... so we really haven't known what to do with Daddy.... it really hasn't bothered me that much because I know his spirit is no longer here and the body doesn't matter!  

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and Mama decided we would bury him at the farm with his bench.  It just seemed appropriate... he loved the farm, he loved just sitting and visiting, and he loved Masters week.... Yesterday when we headed home... we headed home to bury Daddy with happy faces and peace.

I've said before that I am reminded every day of him because I get to live with Ben.  While he may not seem like Daddy to many, he could really be his clone.... he loves the golf course more than any other place... he would rather pick on someone than breathe.... and he thinks everyone should cater to his needs.  The golfer on the base of the bench reminds me that Daddy and Ben will always have those similarities and my life in the next few years may be shortened due to Ben and his ways.  

Jim dug Daddy's hole and prepared our steaks... Daddy's favorite meal!  





The farm is our safe place.... we like to visit... we like to enjoy the outside... and we love that we have so many memories out there!





When we got to the farm, Cole took us for a quick ride on his new plane.  Daddy loved to go up and fly with Bob Norman when I was a little girl... I couldn't help but think about him as we flew over the golf courses that he loved to play.... he would tell "Cole Baby" (who is 22)  to be safe and enjoy the opportunities you have been given.  He would also still be calling him Cole Baby because that nickname has stuck! 
 Guille and Jim were cooking about 20 steaks at one time... Daddy would have said, "Just wipe its butt and send it to me".... but Jim said we couldn't be picky because there was a lot of pressure cooking that many at once.


 Huddy, James, and Ben had fun riding the golf cart.  Daddy would have told them to slow down... no matter how fast they were going!  He loved to yell about something the "little boys" were doing.... they aren't so little anymore!
"Baby Thom"... who is bigger than all of us spent the entire day at the Masters.... I think he looks more like Daddy than anyone else!  Mayonnaise also visited with us!

While sometimes I get sad about Daddy not being here.... I have to smile knowing that my children have precious memories of him... and will always remember their favorite sayings of his... "Shut the damn door... Ben's ass won't hold what it needs... How yur doin?.... Where yo sorry husband at?"....I'll be damned.... and my favorite... "Buh, whatcha' cooking tonight"



Mark added the dirt after the box went in... only appropriate because he was special to Daddy... and of course to me.... he always said Mark had one thing wrong with him "He went to Clemson"... but everyone has one thing wrong so it's okay!
 This is the big pond at Mark's Mama and Daddy's... and in just a few days... that property will no longer be theirs... and while it might be sad that life makes us change things... we grasp to the fact that change is good!




My family... what can I say about it... We are so blessed... we are so lucky... and we ALL KNOW IT! Even through the struggles we have with strong-willed children... we are blessed that nothing very tragic has happened in our lives...   I thank God every day for that... we don't deserve this life we have been given... but we won't complain either... I pray for this family in the picture... that they will be safe, that they will be healthy, that they will make good choices, and that they will continue to love God and know how important He is.  And that little bitty one in the middle... she is our glue... she drives us all crazy still telling us what to do when she can't even stand up straight right now, but we just smile and do what she says... most of the time.  We are constantly picking on her too.... we tell her all her illnesses now are what she told Daddy was nothing a little walking and standing up straight wouldn't cure.... I think he is haunting her!   Just waiting on her to get a good case of hemorrhoids to confirm my belief!  




He loved a steak.... so, so good!   

His other favorite four women.... I was THE favorite....and I like to remind them of that....  but Mama, Ve Ve , Janice, and Christie were also special to Daddy!

This morning KB and I headed to the Masters to shop and watch a little golf... and when I say little... I mean three groups come through number 1. I'm afraid my time of getting to come to the Masters at all is ending... Ben is going to be hard-pressed to let me go in there and do anything else but shop!  He will want to take the time to watch as much golf as he can.  

 When Sis and I came out... they got to go inside!  Sis also got to go Friday because when you are in college and get out at 10:00 AM.... you can make it in time to see some real golf!  She and Julianne made the most of their day and stayed until the end.  Butch would love that they wanted to be in there... not that they were really watching the golf... but no one can prove that! 
 If Daddy could see this picture, he would say, "Ben needs a damn haircut!"
 When he got back to Mama's he decided he needed a little dessert... this was about a quarter of an angel food cake, strawberries, and whipped cream.  He eats like Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies... and he acts like him!  That hair is coming off as soon as the golf season is over... I've tried to tell him time and time again how cute he is with short hair, but he likes that little curl that comes up around the rim of the hat.  Go figure... 15 year old... hard-headed... Butch - twin.... no reasoning skills!
That dessert must have made him tired!  He doesn't read the blog, so I can still post these pictures of him!

It was a fantastic weekend that made this Masters week move to the top of my list!