~Homesick~

     By the time I was in the 2nd grade, I had attended five different schools.  With two brothers who constantly picked on me I thought that they were telling the truth when they said that Mama and Daddy were going to leave me the "next" time we moved.  Yes, I slept with Mama and Daddy until I was in the fifth grade... I would have stayed longer, but for some reason I decided to go across the hall and sleep in my bed. Mark and I were destined for each other because Betty Carol says he slept with them too!  
     The summer of my sixth grade year I signed up to go to majorette camp at UGA.  The day times were wonderful... the night times were awful.  I wanted to be home... I cried hard into my pillow at night... embarrassed that I couldn't have fun like the other girls...
     Boo-ma came by our house every afternoon... she blew the horn three or four times.... we got the mail... she asked us how the day was... and she asked if we knew anything.... Mama would come home and cook a meat and three... we would watch tv... ride around town... Marion and Velda would come over... we would go to Ina's and visit.... we stayed with family and at the time... I never knew the impact it would make on me...
      I went to cheer camp four years in high school and I didn't cry, but I didn't like it... I loved being home... under Mama and Daddy's roof....
      Yes, when I went to Georgia Southern... the same thing... I would cry on Sundays all day.... cry the entire way back.... and cry myself to sleep.... I slept good on Monday nights from crying so much... and I couldn't wait until Thursday nights... I could go out... stay out "just about all night"... and get up to head home... I smiled the entire way and never even thought about going to sleep because I was ecstatic I was on the way home.... Mark and I dated just about my entire college life... and nothing was better than going out to eat and coming back to watch tv with Daddy... many nights we brought friends with us... at all hours of the night.... and Mama and Daddy would get up out of the bed to listen to us... cook for us... or find out who was making all the noise.  I loved being at my house....
     It never got better... I hated Sundays because I knew I had to go back to school... sometimes it would be so bad that I would wait and go back on Monday mornings... who cared that I had to get up at 4:30 to get there in time.... not me... I got to sleep in my bed at home! 
     Some of the best years of my life were when I was just beginning to teach, lived at home with Mama and Daddy while Guille and Jim were already out of the house, and I had breakfast in bed, lunch packed, clothes ironed, and gas in my car!  It was great!  And then.... I got engaged... my dreams of living in Lincolnton were shattered that day in March that Mark told me we would be leaving Georgia and headed to Carolina...
     July of 1996, I married and moved to Greenville.  And .... yes, I cried... and cried... and cried... Mark left on Sundays (and I would have that same pit in my stomach feeling) and he didn't come back until Fridays.  I worked on my Masters four nights a week at that point, but I would still cry because I was by myself and I wanted to be home....
     I didn't have the best pregnancy with either of my children, but KB's was especially hard.... I woke up one morning not long after I found out I was pregnant and I knew something wasn't right... I cried that day too... I wanted to be home with Mama and Daddy to take care of me... I decided to drive to work and I immediately burst into tears with my principal and she took such good care of me... and of course our school secretary.... Neena called my mama and told her I was having a baby and I was having trouble....That homesickness on top of being pregnant was terrible....
      It happened again Christmas Eve of that year... I came home from the hospital with a brand new baby and as happy as I was... I was also sad because I wasn't home with the family... I was missing Christmas in Lincolnton....
     With Ben... I didn't cry when he was born until Mama left after staying with me a week.  Those times of homesickness were sickening to me.... Of course... we would come home many weekends... and I dreaded Sundays even more... It was a long standing joke with us that we would start leaving at 1:00 on Sundays and end up still being here for supper.  Guille and Jim would pick on us about who was going to drive while the other slept... I hated Sundays for that reason! 
     Seven years ago this month, we found a house in Lincolnton.... it took many years for that pit in my stomach on Sunday afternoons to go away on Sunday afternoons... It still comes back sometimes... just randomly... but it is still there...
     This past Sunday, it was raining and dreary... and I had to head out to Athens for the  majority of the week...this time was no different.  I was leaving my family... my babies... and I was  miserable.  As I drove to Athens, I thought about how many tears I have shed due to being homesick.  How many times had I wished to be sitting in Lincolnton with my family? 
     I write all this to say.... I experienced homesickness this week.... I have decided it is a disease... I think I have passed it on to my children.  For once...I'm glad they have this gene.... they like to be with their mama and daddy too... they don't like spending the night away from home.... they like to be here when the sun goes down... and I couldn't be happier.  Tonight, as we say our prayers and do our devotions... I'm thankful for this little family of mine that has this disease too.  I'm thankful for the love I felt and for having a desire to be home.... I'm thankful that when people hurt me... or treat me unfairly... or make me mad and sad.... I can always go back home and feel supported. So being homesick isn't all bad... it is there because I find comfort in that place! 
      One day... I hope my children will sleep upstairs in their own beds... and one day I hope they will leave our nest and go to college... and one day I hope they start little families of their own.... I also hope they always remember that no matter where they roam.... this will always be their home.... and if they feel like shedding a tear or two as they drive out of our driveway on the way to camp, or to go to college, or to get married, or to their own homes.... I hope they know that I'll be standing on the front porch shedding a few tears too!