Father's Day is so hard... I'm a lucky girl to still have Daddy... but there are so many who don't have their daddy with them due to death or even never having a daddy. The first year after death is so hard, but as the time progresses you just get madder and madder that they aren't here. (Thanks for putting that in such good words, Kathryn) I know Bobby Carol would think the world of Ben and Katie Britt. He would be so proud of Mark... and I can't help but think that somehow he is smiling at them. When I send my children to school, to a friend's house, or even outside riding a motorcycle, a four-wheeler, the golf-cart....I picture Bobby's hands right there with them... protecting them like an angel. I find comfort in knowing he loved those children and his own more than life itself.
Bobby Carol can never be replaced, but I am so thankful that Betty Carrot has J Mac in her life now. He hasn't missed many of Ben's and Katie Britt's events. While I am sure he would rather be doing something else, he comes to the games and roots for them just like they were his flesh and blood. I thank God that they have someone in their life to step in for Bobby when that real person is needed. He is wonderful to our family and we are thankful for him being a part of our lives!
Mark doesn't have to tell me... today is a hard day for him. He loved his daddy, looked up to his daddy, and not a day goes by that something doesn't remind us of him. I try to be a positive person and look for the good in all things. One of the good things that I can say about Bobby's death is it has made Mark a better father. He reminds me that his daddy missed very few of his ballgames, he taught him the saying "If you gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!", and he worked hard to give his children everything they needed (and wanted). I'm so thankful that Mark brings me back to solid ground often. He reminds me that family is important all the time. The best advice he has ever given me was the time that Daddy needed someone to drive him to the doctor. I was debating whether I needed to go or not... he looked at me and said, "You know what? Your daddy isn't going to always be here. You do everything you can for him now because one day he won't be. These children at school will always be here. He won't." From that time on, I think I have been to just about every appointment with him....except the one this year when he got the $4000 eye surgery that he thought was going to cost him his deductible only. It's getting funny now...but at the time it wasn't! I'm so proud of Mark and the daddy he has become.
My daddy- he has taught me a few things... not things he has ever said... but the way the he lives....
1. Live a stress free life- he enjoys life everyday. He laughs everyday. I watch him make us all laugh everyday. His new thing to do is to sit and read facebook. He gives us a play by play every night. He will read the status out loud of the person....then give us his two cents. Thank goodness he hasn't figured out how to to type more than a yes or no answer. I believe some people would have their feelings hurt... A perfect example of him being stress free is that I asked him if he could only have two apps on his phone...which would he choose... he told me the weather, the stock market, the pga tour stop, and facebook. He doesn't play by the rules... He makes his own! He chose four! So I am going to strive to break the rules a little...go for more than I'm supposed to...and laugh everyday!
2. Enjoy the game of golf- My daddy has played golf from the time I can remember anything else. He played on Saturdays and Sundays and sometimes during the week. He loves it. Growing up with that, I had no choice except to love it too. I don't play much, maybe twice a year, but during major weeks... I am sitting in front of the television with him. God put Mark in my life to make sure I would continue that! Sometimes I think Mark is worse than Daddy--- he doesn't miss a shot! I look forward every year to playing in the Red, White, and Blue tournament with Daddy. I love watching him in his element. I learn a lot from watching him play. He doesn't get stressed over shots... he doesn't get stressed about mistakes... and he doesn't get stressed about his final score... He just keeps on going and tomorrow will be a better day! This afternoon, I plan to be sitting with him when the last shot of the US Open is played.
3. Be a fighter!- Daddy has been through a lot. He has a pacemaker, a defibrillator, and he has smoked since he was 14. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know he might have problems... I have watched him face death many times... he will look awful, feel awful.... and I prepare myself.... but then.... he kicks back in to high gear and perks back up! Two months ago he quit smoking and tried an electronic cigarette. He already looks better! I think his hard head realized that he needed to do something! I'm so excited that he is going to Texas with us! I may need to take a Depend undergarment for laughing at his ways on an airplane, in a hotel, and in a city that I am sure isn't going to understand our dialect! But...ole Butchie will be a fighter and keep at it!
4. Don't gossip- tell the truth!- Daddy could never be accused of gossiping because it isn't gossip if it is the truth! I'm not sure how he finds out all his information, but he knows things days before I do... It always starts with, "Well, have you heard anything about.... "..... If I say no.... he says well let me know when you do! I am sure that is going to get him a free pass in Heaven because he isn't spreading the "truth"... just confirming that someone else knows it. I'm trying to do better at this... I'm trying to sit and listen... and not speculate, or accuse, or jump to conclusions about things... I just sit and listen until the truth comes out! There is a lot less drama that way... which leads me back to number 1.
5. Enjoy eating- It doesn't take long to look at me and see that I have Daddy's legs, hands, and butt. I have enhanced those features this past year with food and stress.... I'm going to work on that! I learned it from the best... there is nothing better good food. I learned to love a medium rare steak, a good chili dog loaded with onions, and a "hunkey" (any ice cream sandwich/ nutty butty) from Daddy. This past year during football season I loved Saturdays. I would spend all morning cooking and making dips and salads for the ballgames. It became a tradition. It makes my heart smile to have my family sitting around our living room making memories... Daddy would come and eat, and eat, and eat! I have already warned him that I will not be serving snacks the day of the Clemson vs. Georgia game to any Georgia fans.... I think he might be heartbroken!
and finally....
6. Know who to call.... That last statement above about the Ga/Clem. game leads me to this... I have needed tickets to ballgames and the Masters... and Butchie can magically make them appear when no tickets are available. It's all in who you know! I still haven't learned that yet... or at least not as good as him. I am going ahead and giving you fair warning... I have said all these nice things about you... I have learned all these lessons... and now I would love to have two tickets to the Clemson/ Georgia game if you could swing it...I remember you telling me that everyone has at least one thing wrong with them...and Mark's is that he went to Clemson... I guess that is my one mistake too... I have grown to love them! Let me know when you find them!
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