Sweet Sixteen

December 21, 1999, you made your debut as Katherine Britt McKinney!  I honestly think life began to fast forward on this day.  You have literally changed from the precious little girl in a smocked dress with a mo-hawk (rooster tail) to a teenager who would much rather be in a flannel shirt and jeans than a dress with your hair brushed in a flash of time.  I marvel daily at the lady you have become.  No words can ever express the joy, love, and happiness that I have watching you grow up!  Each morning I thank God for letting me have an easy blessing to raise... one who makes good decisions (most of the time), one who wants to please those around her (most of the time), and one who often shows me that God is so good to those who are still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

In an effort to leave your sixteenth birthday a memorable post, I decided to write 16 of my favorite verses  I do hope that whenever you need comfort, or even a good laugh... you will come back to this post.

While I don't have a new car, a special piece of jewelry, or a trip to Paris for this birthday.... I'm hoping my words will forever be a remembrance for this day!  I did offer to carry on the tradition of a Sweet Sixteenth Birthday party like Jane and I had, but... you refused!

1.  Isaiah 53:cents - Yes, that is supposed to say Isaiah 53:6, but it is the first Bible verse I learned when I went to preschool at the church.  The verse says, "We all, like sheep, have gone astray".  First of all, I'm so glad that Butch and Jane put me in a Christian environment.  From an early age, I had that gut feeling when I was doing right or wrong.  No matter how many bad things I did when growing up, I knew in the middle of doing them that they were wrong.  It helped a lot in those teenage years when I would quickly avoid trouble.  I included this verse because I want you to know that you are going to be like the sheep that goes astray.  You will make mistakes in life, and you will have regrets in life.  I just hope that you know that no matter what you do... I'm your mama and will love you unconditionally.  You will always be able to find comfort in  my arms... after I beat you to death!  Just kidding, Sis.  It's okay to make mistakes... we all do.  And one day... your children will get a laugh  about the boys you liked and be really grossed out when they think that the other man could have been their daddy!






2.  Philippians 4:13 - So... I didn't like spending the night away from Mama and Daddy... not even with Boo-ma... I hated it!  I had worked hard on my DPA project and had to go to Rock Eagle and spend the night away from home to present.  I was miserable and cried the night before because I didn't want to go... you know... the same way you have done many nights!  Jane shared this with me, and I shared this verse with you... and I hope you find the same comfort from it as I did that night many years ago when I recited it over and over again to fall asleep.... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"... You can do anything you want or dream or imagine... just don't sing!

3.  Proverbs 22:6 - I never knew the importance of this verse until a few years ago... The past few years I have tried with all my might to make you proud of me... to show you how to be a good person... to love unconditionally even when people hurt your feelings or your heart.  In no means am I perfect, but I do hope you watch and see that this verse is how God intended for children to be brought up.... Train a child in the way she should go, and when she is old she will not turn from it.  I pray you will stay the sweet child you are now forever and ever.  I know you love the Lord, and I hope you know that no amount of money, no perfect boyfriend, and no ideal job is going to make you happy... just Jesus... just Jesus and maybe throw in a little chocolate ice cream on the side...

4.  1 John 1:9 - One of my "new" favorite verses that Lil Bill showed us is If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  When you make mistakes... it's okay... confess and you are forgiven.  I hope you won't get stuck on problems or mistakes you make.... I have seen people hurt for years over past mistakes... I want you to know that the only person that matters in what He thinks is God... talk to Him... write to Him... and tell Him.  Remember that Mary was probably ridiculed as a young, unmarried, pregnant teenager... and look at the beauty that came from that.  You have an opportunity every day to be purified.  I'm proud of you and your relationship with the Lord... you make me smile... and I know God is happy!  When you are down, or feel like a failure, or think you are unworthy... don't... you should just remember this verse and don't dwell on the past... for the future is all that matters!

5.  1 John 2:17- It only took me forty years to realize the importance of this verse, but I pray that you will learn it a little earlier than I did... The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.  One day... you will realize that the world presents many, many things that at the time seem to "complete" your desires... but I promise... it doesn't work like that... I wanted a husband... then I wanted children... then I wanted a big house... then I wanted the perfect job... I can honestly say that if something happened and your daddy and I had to move to a one bedroom camper and live in the woods... I would be okay... God will take care of me... and of you.  Know that the desires of your heart will only satisfy for a short time... you will always want something more... and until you become satisfied with Him... nothing will make you happy... but once you have Him in your heart... you learn to become a little less frustrated... a little more apt to smile...and  a little kinder along the way... so seek Him first... and the rest of your world will fall into place... I think you are on the right track.

6.  Jeremiah 29:11- I pray this often for you and Ben.... I know that God has a plan for you.... I pray for your future... your work, your husband, your children... I had a preacher once say we should bathe our children in prayer... I hope I have done that over the both of you... but sometimes I feel inadequate in my requests... but I see this verse... "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."...I know God has a special person with special children picked out just for you... As you grow the next 16 years, I hope you will remember that He has the plan... just talk to Him and let him guide you through the process.  I pray you find a kind, Christian man who will love you... P.S.  Try to find someone like Daddy even though he drives us up the wall most of the time... He's a good one!

7.  Joshua 1:9- I can't lead you the rest of your life every day... eventually, you will be out on your own... (Be careful to those others who are reading this... a white, Ford Fusion... with a new 16 year old driver will be on the roads).... not only driving, but at school... at work... at college... everywhere... you will need encouragement on those hard days... I want you to remember this ~  "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go".  When you want to cry because your feelings are hurt, or you are disappointed because you didn't get what you wanted, or you are just in a bad mood... God is with you wherever you go... call on Him whenever you are afraid... you are in the palm of His hands... I ask that each morning... "Keep her in the palm of your hand... and her heart near You".... When you are driving... remember the song Jesus Take the Wheel... but don't really try that with your blonde self!  And one day when you drive yourself to see "Kizney Cheesnee"... please be careful and wear your seat belt at all times...

8.  Deuteronomy 6:5- Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  I'm not sure I ever remember this verse as a child, but I heard you trying to sing it one day and it stuck... I love it... and this one simple statement is so true... all you have to do is Love... you are so lucky to have the opportunities in life that you do... but just remember that when things don't go your way... God has other plans... and just love Him no matter what... I know this song will stick in your head... sing it over and over... just don't open your mouth and let sound come out!

9.  Psalm 119:105- Life will get harder one day for you... you won't have a daddy who makes your breakfast and lunch every morning... a mama who washes and irons your clothes... or anyone who cleans that ring around your toilet... you won't have a mama who talks you through big issues in your life... frustrations... or temptations... one day, you will have to figure things out all by yourself... and I want you to know that "Your word is a lamp to my feet and light for my path".  No matter what issues you face in life... the answer is always found between Genesis and Revelation... I promise.   Just look... it's there.  It's all you will ever need to guide you... Daddy and I are just here to help...

10.  Luke 10: 41-42- I love this passage... I have a few books I want you to read about it when you get older... I love to watch people and decide if they are Mary or Martha... I know you will never get accused of cleaning up and cooking... like Martha... so you will be sitting at His feet like Mary... I find comfort in that... I hope you will be listening and watching for signs from Him to guide you along the way.  My only advice to you is find a roommate that is more like Martha or you may struggle with a clean house, and clean clothes, and food without fur in the refrigerator, and all those other gross things that might occur if you don't get up and do a little work sometimes!  I have confidence that you can win souls to follow Jesus too.

11.  2 Timothy 2:22-  I have watched you already practice this... and I'm so proud... I only hope you will continue this way.  Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. I have to pinch myself sometimes at the maturity level you have when it comes to drama.  I hope it stays that way.  I'm secretly hoping this license that you are about to get doesn't mean that I won't see you too much anymore... I like you to be here with us... and stay out of trouble.  You know I may let you stay out until at least 9:30.... I was twenty the night I met Daddy... and I had to be home at 9:30 that night... I found a man without staying out until the wee hours of the morning... so let's try that too... ok?  And you have almost made it past all that girl drama of high school... who cares that you get called "Goodie, Goodie"... I sure don't... I'm proud of that name calling... remember... your reputation isn't something that can ever be given a "do over"... it's there and once it's gone.... it's gone... so you keep being called "Goodie, Goodie"... and I will just keep smiling knowing that you are prayed for every day to be a role model for little ones... and God has a special plan for you!

12.  Romans 12:2- At sixteen, I hope you will remember this verse as temptations and opportunities arise... Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.   The Devil wants us to look like the world... he doesn't want us to look Godly... We, You, can't change the world without looking Godly... yes, you will be an alien... you won't be like everyone else.  I want you to be proud to be an alien... to be different... renew your mind daily with God... His will is perfect... He wants good for you... Let Him guide you through all those situations that you are going to face the rest of your life... Being different is part of being a Christian... and I'm so glad that we are lucky to have a Bible in our home, the Lord in our heart, and a sweet, kind church to lead by example for you to be aliens with!

13.  Hebrews 12: 2-4 - Disappointments are a part of life...sometimes they come at you like flies on watermelon in the summer... I would do anything in the world to stop them for you, but I can't... the only thing I can do is to let you know that God isn't going to give you anything you can't handle... He will guide you through it all "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  Don't lose heart, Sis.  Look to Jesus when you are hurt... when your heart is broken by a boy, when you don't get recognized for something you worked for, when you deserve something you didn't get... Fix your eyes on Him... Don't grow weary... keep doing the right thing.... for the right thing isn't always the easy thing... but it's always the right thing!

14.  James 1:12- Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.   How we act in bad situations is the truth of our heart.  You often bring tears to my eyes with your reactions to things... If I could bottle up that heart of yours and make sure that it always stays this way... I would do it... Through tears of hurt and disappointment, you always come out on top.  You are my heart... you help me every day realize how love is supposed to look... you forgive so easily... you don't let those who have hurt you bother you... and you care about those that I would like to stomp on..... I need to follow your example and be more like you... I think this verse is something you have already realized at an early age... you have persevered... and God has shown special love to you... in many situations... and I'm so glad for your example.

15.  James 1:19- I'm not sure how I got so lucky with this one... You are nothing like me in this regard... My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry~  Yeah, you didn't get this trait from me... I should write your name beside this verse in my Bible because you are such a good example to this.  I'm lucky to have you in the house with me when I get fired up about something... I want to live vicariously through you with this verse... I'm learning, but I still don't have it down pat like you.... I love to watch you... even when I want you to shoot lizards on the front porch with a bb gun (only you will really understand this statement) ... you still find good and have love for that creepy creature who doesn't deserve to be anywhere near my ferns!  Your patience is wonderful... and I respect you for that.

16.  Matthew 19:26- And last, but not least... I hope you know that you can be whatever you want to be... I know right now your heart is set on being a nurse... and I have no doubt that you will be the best at that or whatever job it is that you decide to be... I want you to successful, happy, and satisfied.  I think your life will be a lot easier if you know that " With man things are impossible, but with God all things are possible."  Anything, Sis... anything you want to be... the world is wide-open for you to take over and be...

On the eve of your birthday as I write, I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes... I'm so blessed to have you... You have made being a mama easy... you have made me cry with happiness for you.... I couldn't be prouder of the young woman you are becoming... I can only hope that you will continue down this path and let God lead you along the way.  I hope you enjoy your 16th birthday doing something "out of the box"... like playing basketball all day!  HA!  ... As Poppa used to say.... I love you first, best, and last!

Love,

Mama

Thanksgiving 2015~ It's in the Books... and Christmas is around the corner...

All good things must come to an end... and Thanksgiving break is over.  KB and I headed to Nashville last Sunday through Wednesday for her 16th birthday trip.  We had lots of laughs, lots of food, and made lots of memories.  I'm in a funk right now about taking pictures... and I hate that... but I promise to do better!  She can look back at Facebook and see the laughs!

Thursday we ate lunch at Mama's, Friday we ate lunch at Mimi's, and Saturday everyone came to my house to watch the ballgames.  Today- I took a well-deserved nap between two church services and almost finished decorating.

Tonight~  my children are decorating a gingerbread house that their elves brought them last night... I love that they giggle when we talk about the elves... it's okay though... they know how much I love them!

And this is what Christmas is all about... love... I'm so glad we are at an age that they know when to act like they have sense.  All those hundreds of candies and they are trying so hard to make this elf house precious.  

*I'm just rambling about religion on this next part... maybe they will look back one day and know that I prayed for them every day and wanted big things for them! 

Today at church we looked at Matthew 1.  I have read Matthew several times, but as our preacher stated... we usually skip over the first verses.  It's all about genealogy.  Verses 2-16 are all names listed from Abraham to Jesus.  Jesus really is a miracle... but God knew it from the beginning.  Tripp also  pointed out that many of the people in the lineage were not good people.  I wrote in my Bible that saving grace isn't passed down because of your family name.  It's all about my decision... I can't make my children's decision for them, but living in a way that is pleasing to God and being a good example is a good way to start.  Life sure is easy when God is the only person you have to please. 

Tonight we looked at the birth of Jesus... it was a controversial situation~  we know we would be the same way with Mary... "yeah, right... you are a virgin and you are pregnant... shame on you"... Mary had faith... she believed and relied on God to get her through the situation.  We should all have that much faith.  This fall I read a great book called The Women of Christmas... it is fabulous.  I've been in the Christmas spirit since I opened it.  Mary went through a lot... so did Joseph for staying with her.  I think they are perfect examples of a man and a woman who stuck with each other through thick and thin... which brings me to the miraculous part of the story... the birth... no science can explain... prophets told of the story from the beginning of time... and it came true.  All the stories match up... while some are hard to believe, we only need to rely on our faith to understand and explain.  I can't fathom everything that happened long ago, but I do know the spirit living in me gives me a peace and comfort like no other.  I hate that it took so long to truly know this.  

I'm reading a book now called Lazarus Awakening, One part of the book talks about when God talks to us.  I'm not sure that I can ever say God has spoken where I heard a voice, but I do know that I have feelings that I think God leads me in directions to think about.  A few weeks ago, our pastor made a statement at the end of church.  He told us to pray for those people we weren't exactly excited about seeing at church the next week.  I kind of giggled, but each morning that week, I wrote down names of people in my journal who got on my nerves.  My list was from work,family, and church.  My list was extremely long, and I decided that if anyone ever got my journal I would tell them I just felt led to pray for them... but in reality, I looked at each of those names and found that I was holding bitter feelings toward them.  And it was only hurting me... I prayed for my heart to get over those feelings... and to smile... be nice... and find comfort in also praying for them each day.... it was fun by the end of the week!  I think God told me to do it... He knew I was struggling with that.  I had also been writing in my prayer journal about a work situation... one morning I was very specific with my prayer and the next day I got my answer as clear as I could.  The entire time the person was talking to me all I could think was~ "God... are you serious... you just answered me and I didn't even think you were listening... I was just whining... and you answered!"... 

I needed that little boost of energy from God... I'm being even more specific in my prayer requests to God now... and just like Mary was told in Luke 1:37~ For nothing is impossible with God!  So those children decorating elves in the kitchen without fighting, and the husband who has helped me decorate for Christmas this year, and the daddy who is getting better each day... I know that God hears me... I know that he loves me... and I know that this Christmas is going to be great!  My hope is that no matter what gifts are given, or what parties are held, or what food is prepared that each day of this season is filled with a thanksgiving for a little baby born who gives me a peace, comfort, and joy like nothing else in the world.  

Katie Britt and Ben~  I want you to love Christmas for the real reason... I want you to hear the story over and over each year... and I want you to find something new each year in that story.  It amazes me that at 44, I am still listening to the same story and finding new peace, comfort, and joy from it each day.  

What a Blessing it Was....Fields of Faith

I started this post last week and never finished... I'm glad now!  

Last Thursday night I was exhausted and had almost talked myself out of going to Fields of Faith.  I really wanted to, but I think the devil was telling me to just stay home...it was for students...not really adults.  Christie called and asked me to take pictures, so I decided I needed to go... and it was a blessing... to say the least.  The crowd of believers who showed up at our football field were shown the love of Christ and how important it is to lean on Him when you need it.

It warms my heart to see the age range and variety of people who love to come and hear a few verses of scripture, testimonies, and music.

We never know when our light will shine... this wasn't an event that was mandatory... it was those who truly wanted to come and be blessed.

Parents, students, faculty, and Lincolnton / Washington citizens who wanted to see what "Fields of Faith" was all about.

It was also a special time for parents to be with their children... and watch them sing, pray, and hear their faith...

The praise band was made of sweet, sweet boys!  I love that they don't think that it is weird to sing for Jesus... to love Him... and to use their musical talents to touch others.

This one here did a great job!  He gets his musical talent honestly!

Coach Campbell came out for the event too.  It was a special night for many reasons, but he was kind to come hear one of his fellow coaches give his testimony.

Our emcee of the night... I would let her come and live with me.  She is sweet, kind, and smart...all packaged into one!

His story was perfect... of Peter having to trust in Jesus to walk on the water.  I'm sure at 15 this child knows more than I'll ever know... but his smarts include the knowledge of Jesus Christ... and that is the most important message that can ever be given.  His honesty, his message of us all going through storms, and his truth that all we have to do is stick our hand out~ like Peter~ and Jesus will save us is worth more than ever knowing those physics formulas!

The man of the night... Coach Ellis... I was introduced to him at my house.  He and Daddy were the best of friends.  They played golf together, they went to Georgia games together, and more than once... they would sit in our den and watch movies.  He was a part of our family.  As I grew older I had him as a PE teacher.  He would listen to our problems, solve our problems, and he helped us through those middle school years of being crazy!

I loved her message too.  She talked about being so busy... and yes, we are... but we have to rely on God to take us out of that whirlwind and pull us through whatever we are planning!  It's His plan... not ours.

I love this boy!  He is funny, kind, and was so openly honest with his message.  Keep following the Lord, young one.... you will go far!

Part of "Fields of Faith" is to have student athletes speak.  This young man talked about all the trials he has been through and his main message was to "just pray"... and he is so right.  Ask God for anything and it can be done.  As he walked off the field last night, I wanted to give him a big hug... he has played a fine game of football for LC this year... he should hold his head up!

Coach Ellis gave the main message and brought me to tears many times.  I never knew his story, but I knew he was special.  I think the most important statement of the night was when he discussed being a part of 13 state championship games and winning 9 of them... he said the joy of those winnings can't even touch that of seeing young men come to know the "Lawd"!  And that... is why I love this man so much.  He doesn't yell at our football players, he doesn't call them names, he doesn't yank them around... He uses his kind voice, He lets the Light of Jesus shine through him as he teaches and models to these young men how to act, how to play, and how to win and lose.  He is a true blessing to our program.  I watched as every player and coach looked to him last night and he kindly spoke to them during a difficult situation.  My prayer is that he will still be here to coach when Ben steps on that field.  I find comfort in knowing that if Ben never plays a down of football, he will have a Godly man standing on the sidelines to be a role model and mentor... and to be a part a team with him coaching will be all he will ever need...  Thank you Coach Ellis for your heart...

Sweet, sweet boy.... I know this morning is hard for you.  You remember the message of last Thursday night... you remember that no one blames you.... football is a team sport and win or lose... we should do that as a team.  You are a phenomenal athlete... and while last night didn't go in our favor... the town of Lincolnton loves you... you take this storm... and hold out your hand... Jesus will help you through it!  I appreciate your character... your love of Jesus... and I'm proud to say that I would love my little boy to be just like you one day....

To end the night, the band played as the audience came onto the field...

Thanks to all those who came to make the Fields of Faith a success...

I'm so glad I decided to get off the couch and go... It was a special night... I can't wait to be there next year.

I lied today....

So this picture was taken when he was 16 months old... and she was 6.... it's been nine years... but I remember that day like it was yesterday.  We were making a picture for the football program in Lincolnton... and we didn't live in Lincolnton.  Ben was being Ben and didn't want his picture taken... those curls are killing me... those feet I could eat up... and those blue eyes make my heart smile... If you know to look for it... he has a goldfish in his mouth.... it was the only way to keep him still.... but today... this post isn't about him... it's about her... and a lie.... This week I told her I wanted to get a picture of her and Ben together with the cheerleading uniform/football jersey on.... so I could have a picture of both of them in their outfits... and do a remake of this picture above... it sounded like a good lie... and it was....

Well... part of it was true... I did want a remake of the picture... it isn't very good, but it wasn't really my focus... so I just faked it and told them that was good... and let's do a few more...

The reason... because I want to capture this moment in time and remember it in detail... and I want this for KB to always have to look at... to know how I feel right now... and to tell her how proud I am of her!  She is so excited about life right now... and especially that Monday... on her day off from school... she will be checking something off her list of yucks in life! 

 These were just some candids we did while waiting on Casanova to get his shirt tucked in... his hair smoothed... and his socks off... May you always smile like you are smiling in this picture!

 And this is my girl.... a beauty to me on the outside... but sweeter on the inside... for many reasons...

 she asked me last week in the car about getting her a devotional book... Really?  When I was fifteen... I thought I had done enough because I went to church on Sundays... I love that when I walk in her room her Bible is open... I love to hear her music in the mornings... she isn't anything like me... and that's good...

 But the real reason... the reason I needed to capture this moment... is that when she looks back at the pictures here...and sees the pimples... the braces... the stick straight hair... I want her to know that one day those things will be gone...and she will still be beautiful...

 She's so excited that the braces are coming off Monday... and I wanted a picture of her with them on... one last time... it's amazing how much she has changed in the last few years... it brings tears to my eyes... this moment of her life is going away... no more braces! 

 And this throw away dog... that she loves... and Chevy loves her... I hope you treat those patients of yours one day the exact same way... I hope you will always see the good in bad people... like you have done with this dog... and say, "Mom... she can't help it!"....

 And then he came back... so devilish... and looking so big... I'm so glad to have you both... and that I can enjoy life with both of you right now!  I was a little sad that I didn't get a Fall Break because I had to work... but lazy Friday afternoons, Michelle's Pizza, Ice Cream Parlor, Netflix, Playstation, and blogging... we are as content as can be... just waiting on Daddy to land from California so I can sleep tonight!  Thanks for being appreciative children of doing absolutely nothing but sitting here with me...

 I think you both have potential to be devils... you both make me laugh... even when I want to hurt you! 

 And goofing off is your favorite... even when I want you to be serious...

 I love your smiles... your hearts... and your sweetness... My heart was so happy this week as we walked out of Ben's game... in midstream of conversation, Ben just yelled across the parking lot at one of his teammates and told him he played a good game... I'm not sure the little fellow even played a lot... but he smiled when Ben spoke to him... wouldn't it be nice to hear a kind word every day from someone?  I need to follow my children's example... they teach me every...single...day....

 

 When you tell him to sit up... he looks corny... Let me stop and say that I hope this isn't a downhill road from here that he is going to start acting like Mark in pictures! 

 LC~ Represent~  Sweet babies! 

 Here's that fake smile again... but I love him! 

 And then the sillies again...

 And the one where let's be stupid so Mama will get frustrated with us! 

Sis and Boo.... wow... you sure have grown in the last nine years.  10th grade and 5th grade... can you just stay little forever... just the age you are now... no matter how sassy, or hateful, or even rude you can be.... I see so many good things in you right now!  I'm being selfish, but I wish I could get that life remote and put it on pause right now!  So, yeah, I wanted to remake the picture from when you were little... but I really wanted to have one last photo session with those braces on!  Love, Mama

~Trouble~with that capital T

*One of those posts that I'm not proud of, but I want Ben to remember... to look back one day and think about this as a learning experience.  

Dear Boo~ 
I knew this day was coming... the day that my heart would break because you got in trouble at school.  I get calls from the school all the time, so I was not prepared, or afraid, or scared when I got a message to call.  I can't imagine what parents feel like when they know they are calling for something bad... I guess it's a normal thing for me... but when I began to hear the story I was mixed with emotions.  Thank goodness I had Butch and Jane in the car with me!  One of them for you saying you would never do anything like that, the other saying you did it without a doubt....It left me in silence!  I wanted to strangle you for doing something that you know better than to do... I wanted to cut you for scaring the lights out of another child... and I wanted to cry for you not telling the truth.  Yesterday afternoon was a hard one for you... you were stripped of life... no PlayStation, no football, no phone, no "nothing".... and it was much harder on me than I think it was on you.  As sweet and innocent as you looked writing letters of apology to everyone involved, I still was so mad that I couldn't even talk to you.... and embarrassed...and just hurt. 
Your record of being good in school ended yesterday... but your daddy and I both warned you!  Like a lot of parents, I thought about blaming everyone but you, but I knew... I knew in my heart that you did it.  What good does it do to blame anyone else?  None... As I told you... I speed most of the time... and one day it will be my turn to get caught!  You got caught! 
This morning I spent a lot of my devotional time praying for my heart... to get over the embarrassment of my child misbehaving, the hurt of you not being honest, and the disappointment of your behavior.  I asked God to show me quickly the good that would come from this.  I know children all over have done so many things worse than you, I know parents have been disappointed in their children's decisions, and I know that life goes on.... this will pass and things will get better.  I prayed for you to learn a lesson, to never put yourself in a situation that you have to lie, and to be mature enough to put yourself in the shoes of others before you do and say things.  In all honesty, I know you didn't mean for your actions to come out the way they did... but they did.  So.... you have to suffer the consequences! 
Your punishments are involving every aspect of your life.... personal and school.  I don't want to go through this again...so maybe if we are hard on you... you will think before you do something else!  In addition to having to write letters apologizing, your hardest moment was knowing you had to tell your football coach what you had done.  I'm proud of you for being a "man" and doing that.  I'm proud that you haven't asked for your PlayStation, phone, or a friend.  I'm proud that you helped me clean the house this afternoon and never once complained.  I'm proud you are almost finished reading your book.  I'm proud that you know better...and you admit it!
God has shown me how to treat you... I disappoint him, I hurt him, and I'm sure that he would like to "cut" me daily.... and for that reason.... I'm much better tonight.   If he can forgive me for disappointing him... I have to forgive you.  It's getting easier now... I've even been able to laugh about it now that you have told your real side of the story.  Not that it makes it any better, but I feel sure that your sister will be trying a new trick in the bathroom at the high school tomorrow... and I'm not going to be one bit surprised when the elementary school calls me again and says you have specials detention in the office.  At supper tonight, you were kind enough to inform us all that you actually enjoyed sitting in the office and would love to go back again.  You enjoyed being in the know of everything going on in the school.  I think it's quite sad that I'm in negotiations trying to reward you now with a visit to sit for awhile in the office if you can behave for the next few weeks... Dear God... you have a funny way of getting points across. 
So... this is the first "big" trouble you have been in... I know it won't be the last.... and one day I'll look back at this post and wish that the only thing you had done was this.  Finally, I love you... no matter what you do... you are my baby boy... no matter how mean, and scary, and silly you can be.  I hope you know that I love you with all my heart... I want you to be perfect...and I want you to know that when you make a bad decision... fess up... tell the truth... be honest! So I'm going to hold my head high... and hope you learned a lesson... and try my best to smile even though my heart hurts when I think about it. 

I love you, Boo!

Mama~