It was our 7th anniversary~ Mark got home late from work and brought me a nice little box for a present. When I opened the CVS bag (his family doesn't wrap...another story), I saw a little box with EPT on it! He knew, I knew, We knew... but we really didn't know! We had so many things going on in our life. We were in the middle of buying a house in a neighborhood that we planned to live in for the rest of our lives. We had a precious little girl running around our house that was the joy of our lives. We loved our jobs. But I had that feeling... as I said... I knew... no doubt about it. I felt horrible, slept all day long, and wasn't in the best of moods. So... it was confirmed~ I was!
By November, I had gotten over my all day sickness, had my gallbladder removed, and had settled into my dream house. KB and I had a twenty minute ride to work everyday. Her all time favorite singer was Kenny "Cheeseney"...we were even stupid enough to buy her a close up ticket to see him live in person! His Christmas CD came out and of course we had to have it. By the first week of December we knew every song and sang to the tops of our lungs every morning.
Today, I was in a funk. I have been sick... bladder infection. My back hurts, I don't feel good, and the antibiotic makes me feel worse. School is such a pain right now... so much paper work and I feel like I can't do my best with the students trying to keep up with all the state department "thinks" I need to be doing... anyway... I decided I needed a little pick me up... most folks go to the drugs and alcohol, but not me... Music is my thing! I don't sing, I don't play an instrument, but I do love to listen to some music. All kinds of music... my desk right now has James Taylor, Michael Jackson, Kenny Chesney...just to name a few. As I was sorting through the CDs I saw the Christmas CD and thought...heck why not...so I put it in...
Memories flooded me. I thought of 8 years ago this time and the little baby I was carrying. I thought of how KB and I loved every song...and thought KC was quite silly saying all he needed for Christmas was a tan. I thought of how I struggled so much with deciding how I could love another baby as much as I loved KB. I thought of the birth of Christ...and those church songs bringing back so many other memories. I thought of the peace, comfort, and love that filled me in that car driving back and forth everyday.
The one song that really got me though... "I'll Be Home for Christmas". Tears streamed. It hit me that one of my lifelong dreams was no longer a dream...but a reality. I remembered how I wished that we could spend Christmas in Lincolnton...close to everyone. I hated driving back and forth during the holidays... I never felt "at home". I was always depressed driving back because I dreamed of having tons of people in my house...like the movies! I realized today that my dream came true. Christmas morning we have no less than 15 people drop by for breakfast/brunch and to see what Santa has left. I guess if you wish for something long enough it will come true.
This Christmas will be special too. My children are growing... they will be 12 and 8. The magic of Christmas is still alive, but I know before long they are going to think they are too big for their britches! I am thankful for music... for the memories it brings back. I am thankful for songs that remind me of times where I was scared, frightened, or even apprehensive about things. I am most thankful for the time I am allowed to make special memories with my babies, so they will have something to remember when they get older.
So in all my thankfulness, I think I will sit back for a little bit longer and enjoy some more Christmas tunes from Kenny Chesney!
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