I know he is happy... I don't even have to think about it!

The first time I met "Bobby Carol"~ Mark and I had gone to a Long Cane Academy football game, and Mark decided we needed to go to White Town to see his daddy. I remember walking into the house and seeing a man sitting in a blue recliner with a hat on, a lamp sidesways, glasses on the end of his nose, and a newspaper in his hand. For some reason these details stick out because that was him~ that was the daddy of the boy I was falling in love with! His first words to me were, "I didn't know Butch had a girl~ I thought he only had two boys! I can't believe I didn't know about you!"

Several years later I remember having a conversation as he sat in the same blue chair~ he told me about how Mark "used" to love him and they did things together before I came along. He wasn't being ugly. He was being honest. Now that I am a mama... I totally understand what he was saying.

I remember seeing him for brief minutes on holidays. Bobby Carol didn't like holidays... Now that I am an adult....I totally understand what he was thinking.

It wouldn't be until years into my marriage that I got on the same page as him. Bobby was sick. He almost died. Almost losing someone makes you realize the lack of time you spend with the people you need to be with. I watched Mark worry, be afraid, and make himself sick over making his daddy all better. For the first time in my life I understood what it meant when people said, "Good things happen in bad situations"~

Through Bobby's cancer and illness he had to be in Greenville all the time. He had to have new friends who would accept him for who he was. He had to find something to keep him busy. He did!

I know without a doubt that I became pregnant with Ben for Bobby. I will never forget the day that I found out I was having a boy. Bobby had to come for a visit to the doctor and I called him on the way. He said to put something on the door so when he drove up he would know! We hung a blue blanket and couldn't wait for him to get there. I videotaped it and wouldn't take a million for it! He was so proud. Standing in his overalls he grinned from ear to ear!

The day that I called to tell him that I was going in for an early delivery he told me "wait". Well... babies don't wait! He made arrangements and got to Greenville ASAP~! Those next two years he came almost every weekend to play cards in the neighborhood and visit with us. Ben's first words were "Papa and Gofcar"... Bobby loved to ride him on the "gofcar". During this time Bobby and I grew pretty close as well. I began to fix his favorite foods, wait on him hand and foot, and I even gave up my crossword puzzles in the newspaper so he could work them.

When Bobby became so sick and we knew that his time here with us was ending, we went to the house and sat in his blue chair~ a lot. Ben would go back to his bed and jump, jump, and jump on him. Those last days were so hard. They were hard because I was selfish. I wanted Bobby to see his only grandson grow up into a fine young man. I wanted him to buy him things that grandddaddies think little boys need. I wanted him to be his hero like he had been to Mark. God didn't see it that way though. Bobby's body was worn out. He needed relief. He needed to be pain free. On one of the last visits, he told me that he loved me and that he was glad I thought like him. I was always cold when he was cold, I liked to work the crossword, I liked to read the newspaper first thing in the morning, and I loved a chocolate delight. He told me I was a good girl... wow what a few words can do to your heart!

That Friday, we waited and waited. We knew it would be soon. Finally, we decided to go to bed and rest. For the first night, in several, everyone in the house slept peacefully. At 6:45 AM, I woke up to Ben standing in the Pack-n-Play talking. I picked him up, went into the den, and woke up Mark. When we walked back to check on Bobby we knew he was gone. I still can't believe the strength that Mark had to wake his mama and tell her. I told him to hold Ben so she could see him and love on him when she heard. When the coroner arrived, she asked what time it happened...I told her that I got up at 6:45 and started the cycle because Ben woke us up. She said, "Well, that is the time of death. Let's say that he came by and kissed his grandboy goodbye and woke him!".

The next Christmas "Uncle Tim" had a bag for Ben. In the brown paperbag was every truck you can imagine that a little three year old hand could hold. Tim told us that Bobby would have wanted that! He was right~ Bobby would have bought that and more because Ben loved them!

The years are passing by, but I can't help but think about the things that Ben does now that Bobby would have loved. I know he is happy tonight... I don't even have to think about it! Mark took Ben to "the land" to hunt on the four wheeler. They are spending the night with Mimi tonight.

This year I am thankful for my memories of Bobby Carol. I know you are with us and you are smiling. Mark is doing a great job with Ben. He is a good daddy~ He learned from you! Miss you... I am waiting to sit in your chair Thursday!