It is true...the apple falls right off the tree and sprouts again...God bless my grandchildren!

The older I get... the more I understand the saying ~ "The apple don't fall far from the tree". Growing up, I was never told I could be the President of the United States, that I could fly to the moon, or that I would be the next Lorrie Morgan. My mama was honest.
She knew I could never be the President of the US because I have a way about me that let's people know instantly if I like them or not. I am not sure that is something to brag about, but I have never been accused of being two-faced. I usually tell it like it is and don't hold back!
She knew I would never go to the moon because I would be miserable that far from home. I am a home-body and I don't like being anywhere else. Ask my friends growing up...I didn't spend the night away from home. In college, I came home all but about five weekends... I like home. Now... I like for the action to be at my house...if it isn't... I usually don't want to go.
Finally- she never told me I could be a singer. She led me far from that. I can't sing... Mark says I make up my own words to songs that make no sense. My children beg me to stop singing in the car. I sit in church and listen to those around me because I feel sure the verse about making a joyful noise to the Lord doesn't apply to me~ I know I can't sing.
I commend her for being honest with me. Isn't honesty the best policy? Honesty isn't always being nice though. My feelings were hurt often. I can remember several times coming in from winning a pageant and thinking I was tough stuff... quickly to be knocked off my high horse with a comment that would begin with...."I know you won, BUT you know you could have answered that question better, or your walk was too fast, or you didn't make eye contact like you should have." She always let me know that I wasn't perfect. I am not so sure everyone was raised like me. They should have been though!
This leads me to... my children. Tonight riding home from dance, we were singing to the tops of our lungs when I realized that I was going to have to be real honest with both of them and tell them they CAN'T SING EITHER! I have been telling KB since she was four and sang in the church choir to just move her mouth. I thought she might grow into a singer since she liked it so much...N.O.T. I am not trying to limit their dreams or future plans, but if you can't sing...you can't sing. Ben verified tonight that he can't sing either... he hollers. Bless both their voices! This is the third generation of non-singers. Dormant gene!
I was recently accused of being mean and too hard on my children. I didn't know that being honest was being mean to your children. If your mama can't be honest with you...then who can? Having your feelings hurt every once in awhile makes you a little more thick-skinned and able to deal with real life issues~ Hopefully, my children won't be scarred for life with my honesty. I wasn't~ I think I have planted two seeds that can be whatever they want...except professional singers.

I L.O.V.E. Lincolnton with every ounce of being in my body...

I love the good, the bad, and the ugly of Lincolnton. I love that when I moved back here one of my friends from the "city" gave me a towel that says ~"the good part about living in a small town is when you don't know what you are doing...everyone else does"! Oh how true that has become. I love that everyone knows me... trips to the grocery store that should take 5 minutes take 20 minutes because I like to talk ~ a little! I like to catch up about my friends when I see their parents, I like to tell parents how their children are doing in school, and I like to find out how my own children are doing. I like that everyone knows me and at 40 years old... people feel obligated to call my parents and tell them I am doing this, that or the other! For real... not kidding...they hear what I do all the time~ . And all that is the good~ It keeps me honest and straight!
The bad part about living in this small town... I moved away once. I have been in other towns where when I came home from work, NO ONE CAME TO VISIT! I forget this sometimes. I come home, put on my pjs, and then ... knock at the door. This leads to the fact that I don't "fluff" my house everyday. My mama... she fluffs in the morning before she leaves and she fluffs before she goes to bed. You can eat off her floors, have a snack and coffee, and relax in a house that feels like it was just cleaned by Molly Maids. My house isn't like that. I like to sleep until the last minute in the mornings... no time for fluffing! I like to stay on the computer at night, read books with Ben, talk to KB, or take long, hot bathes at night... no time for fluffing. So... the bad is being caught off guard when a visitor comes by. I forget where I live sometimes!
Now to the reason I am writing this...THE U.G.L.Y. I love Lincolnton...with all my heart. BUT... today I had to go to the doctor in Greenville. As Mama and I were coming back and looking at all the small towns from here to there, she made a good point. She said that our Christmas decorations were ugly as "insert an ugly word". It made me laugh. I think it is funny to hear her say ugly words. She doesn't say them unless they are absolutely necessary. And tonight they were... My questions about our lights are this... why do we have some colored? some white? some out? some on? some off? some that I can't make out exactly what they are? My point??? let's have all white lights... that way there is no question about what color to put back in them when they go out~ and white is pretty... a snowflake should be white, an angel should be white, and a star should be white. Petty that I am focusing on this... I know... but hey, if that is the only UGLY thing about Lincolnton... then so be it!

Sisterly/Brotherly Love

I gave in last year to a perfect tree. Not that I ever had a perfect tree, but I decided my children were old enough to decorate our tree and place ornaments where they thought they should be. It was precious. Katie Britt had a side and Ben had a side.
Ben decided this year when it was time to decorate that he would rather play the Playstation. Katie Britt wasn't real happy about putting ornaments on the tree, but with a little persuasion/force... she put the ornaments on the tree. I am not sure why I would be surprised by the placement, but as I sat on the floor of the den this afternoon... I couldn't help but notice.

I honestly don't ever remember our Christmas tree growing up having any special meaning. I am not even sure we put one up at all... we lived far away usually, and then when we could come home for Christmas after school was out there really wasn't a reason to have a tree in our house. I do remember Boo-Ma's tree though. It was perfect. Mary placed each ornament in a perfect place. I also remember Leah, Bobbie, and me singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" and pointing to the cross-stitched ornaments as we sung. I can remember going to my great-grandmother's, Jett, and her tree had those bulbs as big as my hand on it. They were hot too! I didn't begin to really notice other people's Christmas trees until we would ride around in town at night peeking in the windows of homes. Those were the best! We would trash talk this house or that house for having colored or white lights, big or small lights, real or fake trees. It was fun! Never in my time did I think to myself that it didn't matter whose house it was...they thought their tree was good enough for their family.

In my late years of elementary school and Guille was in 8th or 9th grade (I say this because he was old enough to know better), I can remember sitting by our tree in the foyer and thinking how beautiful it was. I remember Mama going in after we had gone to bed and fixing every ornament and putting it in the proper place. It was a tree to be proud of espcially since everyone could see it from the road! Anyway, one day during Christmas break, Guille came to my room and said, "Let's go look at the presents under the tree!". I was all game for that! We shook, smelled, and squeezed. Finally, he said, "Let's open one of our presents. You can open one of mine and I will open one of yours." I actually thought about it for a minute before I agreed, but I agreed. Besides... he always got to open presents early because his birthday is December 14th. (unfair in so many ways)

As I opened up the game for the Atari or Nintendo, I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew that it was a big mistake. It was the very gift he had asked for the entire season. His Christmas would be spoiled if I told him. But... we agreed. He didn't seem to care. He was grinning from ear to ear. My gift that he opened? A phone jack, which lead to other presents on Christmas morning like a phone cord, a phone, my own phone line. We neatly wrapped the presents back up and I am still not sure that Mama knows we did it! I know it ruined Christmas for me. I also felt like I had betrayed that beautiful tree... by being dishonest.

When Mark and I first got married he traveled every week. He would bring me back a t-shirt from the city he had been to visit. After about three shirts in a month, I suggested he begin bringing me Christmas ornaments. So he did. I have them from all over the United States and world. Our first Christmas the bows from my wedding and the ornaments we had collected were on my tree. I loved it. Thinking back now though...it was probably pretty sad.

This Christmas for the first time in many I have to laugh... you probably can't tell from the tree, but all of the special ornaments from my childhood and first years of marriage are at the back of the tree. Any ornament with Ben's name on it, or an ornament that he has made, or an ornament that looks "boyish" is hidden among the branches... the only things that are visible are Katie Britt's! When I pointed that out to her, she just smiled! Poor Ben hasn't figured it out yet, but when he does I have a feeling that he will "fix her up"!

I love this bond that sisters/brothers (and cousins) in my case have for tree decorating. I am sure I will remember this Christmas as the one where I counted down the days until Ben notices that none of his ornaments are really visible from the front of the tree.

Christmas~ the most wonderful time of the year!

Thanksgiving is over... I am feeling at least 10 extra pounds... I hate it too! Extra weight means an extra bad mood! I wish I wasn't an emotional eater, but I am. I enjoy good food better than anything else in the world! I have just about eaten an entire Paula Deen spice gooey butter cake. I took the remaining part of it to church tonight... so I wouldn't be tempted to finish it off.
After two losses this weekend, I have been eating like a horse. I considered just saying, "oh well" until after Christmas, but that might mean that I would gain 10 more pounds. I am going to try to keep my mouth shut for a few weeks!
I have also made an executive decision that I am not decorating every inch of my house this year. My den is "elfed" out, but no where else in my house has anything Christmas. I am not sure why, but that is what I am feeling! Today I could have spent my time decorating some of the rooms, but the family did a little something cultural~ Yesterday, I was reading the morning paper, and an advertisement kept showing up in the corner of my eye. "The Nutcracker"... I had been as a child and enjoyed it. KB loves dance, Ben loves a story, and Mark... not sure why he wanted to go, but he did! We left after Sunday school and headed to Augusta.
Needless to say, it was a good event. I am sure my children will never forget it! While I enjoyed the show, the message, and the dancing, my family enjoyed snickering at the man in the tights who obviously forgot his pants. It was OUTRAGEOUS! I am thinking that it has to be outlawed in some countries for men to have on those see through, white, tight-fitting pants. We could see everything~ I tried not to focus on everything, but HELLO...it was all there to see!
After a quick stop at Dunkin Donuts for a snack, we headed home and I decorated the outside porch. I trimmed down on that too! I put my red carpet out, a wreath, and my little trees by my door. I am going with the theme "simple, but elegant" this year.
Finally, I watched "The Grace Card" at church tonight. It was a great movie. Bitterness can ruin someone's relationship. In some cases it can cause a barrier for no relationship at all. I am thinking I might need to carry a grace card around with me! A fault of mine... I have a hard time forgiving someone who has done me wrong or hurt me. Tonight, I am waving my grace card at all those nasty comments about Lincoln County football and Clemson football... I am going to be over it! Thank you Lord for YOUR grace... I need it!

Thanksgiving 2011

My Ben is smart... I have said before that he has more common sense than anyone living under this roof. One of the things that I love about him most are the simple things that make him happy. This week his big accomplishment has been blowing a bubble. Who knew that someone would smile, be thrilled, and have to beg to have his picture taken doing this! So...for his memory, I am adding this picture of him blowing a bubble! I feel sure this goes right up there with the geniuses of the world!











Two precious children I am thankful for~ they bring me to tears quite often. I can't believe how big they look in this picture. May they be blessed this year with good grades, a happy homelife, and memories of great times and fun with their mama and daddy!













The mens' table!

Ben and James loved their placecards... who knew a piece of paper could cause joy!

Girls' table!

Sis and I eating in the dining room~ and eating on the china that "they don't make that anymore" .... She is 11... I am 40... first time for both of us!

The COOKER!

Mama's tray that I really love... thanks Velda and Amberly! I would cook if I had this!









Jim's dessert was his fingernail flan.

Daddy almost made it until clean up time before he went to sleep.

Mark was "raised right"...He is the only man in the house who helped clean!

These sweet boys played in the leaves while we cleaned up!

Guille carved the turkey so he didn't have to help clean up. He was Sooooo tired!

At the beginning of this week, Mark began bugging Lisa about what she was bringing to Thanksgiving. He told her I was bringing the two desserts~ she said she was only bringing three people. Well... she brought the men Indian headgear that had to be worn the entire day and the women had "monogrammed" handkerchiefs to wear. (They were monogrammed with a nice black sharpie!)









Mark is game for anything!

Wondering if this is really happening...

Squaw Ben

and the final shot of the McKinney Thanksgiving with the men in their Indian outfits! Happy Thanksgiving!

I know he is happy... I don't even have to think about it!

The first time I met "Bobby Carol"~ Mark and I had gone to a Long Cane Academy football game, and Mark decided we needed to go to White Town to see his daddy. I remember walking into the house and seeing a man sitting in a blue recliner with a hat on, a lamp sidesways, glasses on the end of his nose, and a newspaper in his hand. For some reason these details stick out because that was him~ that was the daddy of the boy I was falling in love with! His first words to me were, "I didn't know Butch had a girl~ I thought he only had two boys! I can't believe I didn't know about you!"

Several years later I remember having a conversation as he sat in the same blue chair~ he told me about how Mark "used" to love him and they did things together before I came along. He wasn't being ugly. He was being honest. Now that I am a mama... I totally understand what he was saying.

I remember seeing him for brief minutes on holidays. Bobby Carol didn't like holidays... Now that I am an adult....I totally understand what he was thinking.

It wouldn't be until years into my marriage that I got on the same page as him. Bobby was sick. He almost died. Almost losing someone makes you realize the lack of time you spend with the people you need to be with. I watched Mark worry, be afraid, and make himself sick over making his daddy all better. For the first time in my life I understood what it meant when people said, "Good things happen in bad situations"~

Through Bobby's cancer and illness he had to be in Greenville all the time. He had to have new friends who would accept him for who he was. He had to find something to keep him busy. He did!

I know without a doubt that I became pregnant with Ben for Bobby. I will never forget the day that I found out I was having a boy. Bobby had to come for a visit to the doctor and I called him on the way. He said to put something on the door so when he drove up he would know! We hung a blue blanket and couldn't wait for him to get there. I videotaped it and wouldn't take a million for it! He was so proud. Standing in his overalls he grinned from ear to ear!

The day that I called to tell him that I was going in for an early delivery he told me "wait". Well... babies don't wait! He made arrangements and got to Greenville ASAP~! Those next two years he came almost every weekend to play cards in the neighborhood and visit with us. Ben's first words were "Papa and Gofcar"... Bobby loved to ride him on the "gofcar". During this time Bobby and I grew pretty close as well. I began to fix his favorite foods, wait on him hand and foot, and I even gave up my crossword puzzles in the newspaper so he could work them.

When Bobby became so sick and we knew that his time here with us was ending, we went to the house and sat in his blue chair~ a lot. Ben would go back to his bed and jump, jump, and jump on him. Those last days were so hard. They were hard because I was selfish. I wanted Bobby to see his only grandson grow up into a fine young man. I wanted him to buy him things that grandddaddies think little boys need. I wanted him to be his hero like he had been to Mark. God didn't see it that way though. Bobby's body was worn out. He needed relief. He needed to be pain free. On one of the last visits, he told me that he loved me and that he was glad I thought like him. I was always cold when he was cold, I liked to work the crossword, I liked to read the newspaper first thing in the morning, and I loved a chocolate delight. He told me I was a good girl... wow what a few words can do to your heart!

That Friday, we waited and waited. We knew it would be soon. Finally, we decided to go to bed and rest. For the first night, in several, everyone in the house slept peacefully. At 6:45 AM, I woke up to Ben standing in the Pack-n-Play talking. I picked him up, went into the den, and woke up Mark. When we walked back to check on Bobby we knew he was gone. I still can't believe the strength that Mark had to wake his mama and tell her. I told him to hold Ben so she could see him and love on him when she heard. When the coroner arrived, she asked what time it happened...I told her that I got up at 6:45 and started the cycle because Ben woke us up. She said, "Well, that is the time of death. Let's say that he came by and kissed his grandboy goodbye and woke him!".

The next Christmas "Uncle Tim" had a bag for Ben. In the brown paperbag was every truck you can imagine that a little three year old hand could hold. Tim told us that Bobby would have wanted that! He was right~ Bobby would have bought that and more because Ben loved them!

The years are passing by, but I can't help but think about the things that Ben does now that Bobby would have loved. I know he is happy tonight... I don't even have to think about it! Mark took Ben to "the land" to hunt on the four wheeler. They are spending the night with Mimi tonight.

This year I am thankful for my memories of Bobby Carol. I know you are with us and you are smiling. Mark is doing a great job with Ben. He is a good daddy~ He learned from you! Miss you... I am waiting to sit in your chair Thursday!

Thursday Thirteen~ November 17th, 2011

1. One year ago today Granny died.

2. As I was working in the yard this afternoon, freezing my tail off, I was thinking about my high school days when I would come in from cheerleading practice on Thursday afternoons and Boo-Ma would be at our house to cook oyster stew~ She never cooked...but she would come to our house to cook Oyster Stew! My phone was ringing when I came inside... it was Mama! For the first time in years, I sat down with Mama, Daddy, Jim, and Guille to eat supper. It was just like the old days! Makes me giggle to think about it! Oyster Stew has never been as good as it was tonight!

3. I miss my friends from my old school. I love that I have facebook and can keep up with them. They make me laugh, we have code words, and knowing they are here for me always makes me feel good about life!

4. Sometimes it is so hard to sit back and watch friends hurt. Some people need money, some people need a job, some people need a hug, some people need a smile, some people need an ear... whatever the reason... it makes it worth it to also be able to hear the laughter come back into their voices! To each a season... good times/bad times... hopefully it is up hill now!

5. We have a ballgame tomorrow night. For some reason I am not nervous yet... I need to be! I want to win! I can't imagine the Friday after Thanksgiving not getting ready for a football game!

6. I know that there is nothing to this, BUT... sometimes I think people come back as animals. We have always said that our old dog was Mark's daddy... and I do believe that Boo-Ma is my cat. She follows me wherever I go... doesn't like loud children... and loves to know what someone is eating!

7. We are going camping this weekend! I can't wait to wake up with the view of the lake, the smell of bacon on the grill, and the warmth of a fire throughout the day.

8. We have a solid booked calendar until the second weekend in January. I hope I can survive! I am so excited about visiting places again and seeing new places I have never been!

9. My job is stressful~ I wish that I could just teach. When I win the lottery, I am going to start my own school, teach what I want to teach, make students who don't pay attention cut grass with scissors (inside joke), and give them free lunch! When they get to the age of graduation, I will put them up against anyone else and I bet they will be successful! Just teasing... I never play the lottery!

10. I think it is pretty amazing how just about every day I can relate the scripture I read to something going on in my life. Today, Titus 3:1-2! My toes hurt.

11. I'm thinking the girl who cleans my house is going to be very upset tomorrow when she walks in and sees six ferns... shedding... all. over. the. floor!

12. I do such a good job of cutting out coupons and organizing them... but when I get to the store...the coupons are either at home, or I find a better deal.

13. Last but not least... I have to go read a book with Ben...I have been avoiding it all night. The book is about snakes. I. HATE. SNAKES. I hope I don't dream about them tonight!

Thursday Thirteen Thoughts

1. I love having a day to come home and do nothing but put on my pajamas, cook supper, and relax all evening! (I needed it after my day today!)

2. I love making a list of each room in my house and what my plans are on how to decorate it for Christmas. (I never do all I say I am going to do, but I love to write it down in case my world becomes perfect!)

3. Why would someone choose to drag race in an F150. (The scanner is my background noise right now!)

4. I love unplanned dinner plans~ We had salad, steaks, baked potatoes, asparagus, and bread tonight for supper... We saw we had extra and Mama and Daddy headed over... another reason I am so glad I moved back home!

5. I have a lot of talented people in my family that are "artsy fartsy"... I am not... SAD!

6. I think it is neat that when I write all my problems down... I can always go back and find at least twice as many good things to be thankful for!

7. I love an after drink. Tonight I splurged and had Vanilla Flavored coffee... hope it doesn't keep me up all night!

8. Most people don't think like I do... learning to deal with those people is getting harder and harder the older I get. I need filter AND A MUZZLE.

9. I wish I had studied in high school so I could have been a better college student. The only advantage to me not being a good student in high school is I know all the tricks for being a slacker! I pick up on those students immediately and it makes them so mad.

10. I wish my house had a library....or shelves I should say. I believe I could fill up an entire room with the books in my attic. I never feel organized because they should be out for my children to enjoy...but I have no where to put them!

11. I am trying an experiment this winter... instead of putting my ferns in the trash can... I am going to try to keep them alive...INSIDE my house. Mess here it comes!

12. I could use new light fixtures in my house... but I don't really want to bother with that!

13. My final thought for tonight... I love this time change... We are ready for bed at 7:33~

Memories of Pregnancy, Kenny Chesney, and Christmas

It was our 7th anniversary~ Mark got home late from work and brought me a nice little box for a present. When I opened the CVS bag (his family doesn't wrap...another story), I saw a little box with EPT on it! He knew, I knew, We knew... but we really didn't know! We had so many things going on in our life. We were in the middle of buying a house in a neighborhood that we planned to live in for the rest of our lives. We had a precious little girl running around our house that was the joy of our lives. We loved our jobs. But I had that feeling... as I said... I knew... no doubt about it. I felt horrible, slept all day long, and wasn't in the best of moods. So... it was confirmed~ I was!
By November, I had gotten over my all day sickness, had my gallbladder removed, and had settled into my dream house. KB and I had a twenty minute ride to work everyday. Her all time favorite singer was Kenny "Cheeseney"...we were even stupid enough to buy her a close up ticket to see him live in person! His Christmas CD came out and of course we had to have it. By the first week of December we knew every song and sang to the tops of our lungs every morning.
Today, I was in a funk. I have been sick... bladder infection. My back hurts, I don't feel good, and the antibiotic makes me feel worse. School is such a pain right now... so much paper work and I feel like I can't do my best with the students trying to keep up with all the state department "thinks" I need to be doing... anyway... I decided I needed a little pick me up... most folks go to the drugs and alcohol, but not me... Music is my thing! I don't sing, I don't play an instrument, but I do love to listen to some music. All kinds of music... my desk right now has James Taylor, Michael Jackson, Kenny Chesney...just to name a few. As I was sorting through the CDs I saw the Christmas CD and thought...heck why not...so I put it in...
Memories flooded me. I thought of 8 years ago this time and the little baby I was carrying. I thought of how KB and I loved every song...and thought KC was quite silly saying all he needed for Christmas was a tan. I thought of how I struggled so much with deciding how I could love another baby as much as I loved KB. I thought of the birth of Christ...and those church songs bringing back so many other memories. I thought of the peace, comfort, and love that filled me in that car driving back and forth everyday.
The one song that really got me though... "I'll Be Home for Christmas". Tears streamed. It hit me that one of my lifelong dreams was no longer a dream...but a reality. I remembered how I wished that we could spend Christmas in Lincolnton...close to everyone. I hated driving back and forth during the holidays... I never felt "at home". I was always depressed driving back because I dreamed of having tons of people in my house...like the movies! I realized today that my dream came true. Christmas morning we have no less than 15 people drop by for breakfast/brunch and to see what Santa has left. I guess if you wish for something long enough it will come true.
This Christmas will be special too. My children are growing... they will be 12 and 8. The magic of Christmas is still alive, but I know before long they are going to think they are too big for their britches! I am thankful for music... for the memories it brings back. I am thankful for songs that remind me of times where I was scared, frightened, or even apprehensive about things. I am most thankful for the time I am allowed to make special memories with my babies, so they will have something to remember when they get older.
So in all my thankfulness, I think I will sit back for a little bit longer and enjoy some more Christmas tunes from Kenny Chesney!