What is a good mother? We all have our own definitions of what a good mother is. I'll never forget sitting at a ballgame many years ago and an acquaintance was telling me about her son going to spend the weekend in a college town and she didn't really want him to go. She was all stressed out about it and was hoping I had some knowledge... I told her I only had a preschooler and elementary child... I didn't know what to tell her except go with your gut... in our conversation she said, "The hardest part of parenting is the parents who are sitting next to you!"... I looked at her like she was crazy... she explained that when all the other moms let their kids do something and she didn't that she was afraid of looking mean and acting better than everyone else. That statement stuck with me then... and even more now.
It's not my place to decide what other parents should do... it's my place to decide what I can tolerate in my house with my children. Just this weekend my family was discussing how "crazy" it was that Ben wasn't allowed to take his cell phone to Washington, DC on a school field trip. What ifs were running through their brains and concerns for safety were clearly the top reasons they thought it was stupid. For me, I was torn... I love the fact that my 14 year old has gone a field trip to another state from Saturday until Tuesday morning and hasn't had a phone... he hasn't complained... I'm sure he will grab it off the counter when he walks in the door, but for a short time he was able to function without it. The school has been nice enough to send us calls with updates, created a Facebook page with lots of videos and pictures, and chaperones have allowed students to use their phones to call home. I say all this to show that two different places can do things two different ways and it's going to be okay. I would have to argue that Ben might see more in the nation's capital than a child with a phone though because I know they can be distracting. We followed the rules and didn't hide a phone in his suitcase... and while my heart was worried... I know doing the right thing was best. I followed the rules.
Another example might be what I allow my children to do and not do... I know this sounds crazy, but I don't give KB a curfew. I don't have to... for one, she is a sixty year old woman in an 18 year old body... and two... she is mature enough to make decisions about what time she needs to be here. Ben may be a different story.... but I'm the mama and if the rules change for one child... it's okay. Every child is different no matter what we do as parents. I think good mothers don't put children in boxes and make the rules the same for all of them! It breaks my heart sometimes to see the differences that I have to modify for, but I know it's the right thing.
Looking at the Nativity Scene... I see Mary... Jesus's mother... and I think to myself that she must have had a hard time watching her son from birth to death... and I think about what she would do if she were in my shoes. Whenever I start "thinking"... I start looking for verses to help me.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
The Bible is very clear about discipline. We have to discipline our children... just like God disciplines us. I believe in discipline... but how are children to know what is wrong if we don't teach them? How are children supposed to learn what is wrong and right if they don't see good examples of how to act and behave. As parents, if we break the rules... we teach our children it's okay to break the rules. As parents, if we treat others with disrespect... we teach our children it's okay to treat others poorly. As parents, if we make excuses for our children... we teach our children excuses become the "reasons" behind many broken rules and that's okay. Step One... Follow the rules and laws... be an example to your children and other children you see.
Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Pretend that you have gotten the news you have one week to live... how would you spend it? Most people say that they would be in the church praying daily every time the doors opened that week. I know for me I'd spend several hours a day writing letters to family and praying for others who would be left behind. I'd make more time for the family dinners, the family time, and the family prayers. While I can't make someone be saved, I'd try my best to plant the seeds with people who didn't profess their faith. We should raise our children showing them the way to go each week!
1 Timothy 5:8
Anyone who doesn't provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I have a responsibility as a parent to make sure I provide for my children. I think this verse includes food, shelter, clothing, but I also believe it means to provide guidance in choosing the road less traveled. That road less traveled may mean you don't have a Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat full of fun pictures with friends, nights out all night making memories, and a long list of people to call when you are bored... it's my job as a parent to let my children know it's okay to be different! I used to tell them that if they did something secretly and kept it from us... it probably wasn't the right thing to do... and now we have added that if you think it might be wrong... just ask... better safe than sorry!
Acts 5:29
Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than human beings"! A good mother will teach her children that the answers to all their problems will be addressed in the Bible. Just because every other child or parent is doing it... doesn't make it right. I learned this the hard way. I think back to some poor decisions and realize that had I given my children a little more attention the choices they made may have been different. If I had been in the Word more instead of the world... things may have been a little different.
Romans 14:12
So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
One day I will have to tell God why I did or didn't do something. I can't imagine all the explaining I'll have to do, but I pray that the last years of my life will be better than the first 40. As a mama, I have to account for both my children... did I tell them the right thing to do? Or did I tell them just don't get caught doing the wrong thing? Did I tell them that following the world is the best thing to do? Or did I tell them to be like aliens and be different than others? Did I prepare them for giving an account of what they choose to do? They may keep it a secret from me, but God will always know.
Finally... Mary... Jesus's mother... am I following her lead as the perfect mother?
Luke 2: 21-40 speaks of Jesus being taken to the church as an 8 day old baby and meeting Simeon.
Simeon said great things about Jesus... he knew who he was. I find comfort in knowing that taking my children to church could lead them to being so much more in life. I can't be the perfect mother without some help... I get my help from my family, church family, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit...
Be like Mary... take your children to church... set an example for them to follow... and remember that you will give an account for your life and decisions you have made. It's never to late to change the way you think... I hope and pray that Mary will be our role model for the "perfect mother" instead of the mother sitting next to us. It might break your heart... but do the right thing!
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