Can you believe that....

Can you believe that evil, wicked stepmother,  stepfather?

Jesus had an earthly father... Joseph.  Joseph knew that he wasn't the biological father, yet he gives the perfect example for men even today... he loved Jesus and did for him like he was his own child.  I find it hard to believe that Jesus or anyone around Joseph said, "Can you believe that wicked stepfather?"

There have been many people I've met in my life who have had step-fathers who have been better to them than their own fathers.  Isn't that the best!  As I look at Joseph, I think of man who took in a child that wasn't his own and loved him like he was.  How does someone do that?  How do you love a child like he is yours when you have other children who are yours?  I think God makes our hearts grow bigger as more and more people come into our lives.

I've shared before that my biggest worry during my pregnancy was how I could love someone as much as I loved KB.  It only took seconds to look at him and realize that I loved him just as much.  I think that is what God does with stepparents.  He gives us that example at the Nativity Scene.  I believe with all my heart that God does this for us to see how we are to treat children who aren't biologically ours.... I also believe this runs into how we treat our families.

The wicked stepmother sometimes turns into the evil mother-in-law that we have to deal with... As we marry into a family, we have a choice... we can either accept the family and try for harmony... or we can reject the family and cause even more chaos.  In the grand scheme of things, I hope that I can be a role model to my own children on how to treat in-laws.  I hope they see how I treat my mama and my mother-in-law and they may just treat me the same way.  Let's be honest... no one agrees 100% with what anyone thinks... if you do, you really aren't thinking for yourself.  We should be respectful of others and their thoughts and remember it isn't our place to be in control... God is in control!  We can live in peace if we just breathe and know that things are going to be okay.  Arguments are between two people... if you refuse to argue... then no argument can occur.

As you spend the holidays preparing to spend them with extended family, step-children, step-parents, brothers, sisters, in-laws.... the list goes on.... just smile and know that during this short season...it isn't about you... focus on treating someone a little nicer who may be irritating to you... focus on smiling when you don't really want to smile... focus on when you do get to eat instead of how late people are to the dinner...

I think that God gives us Joseph at the Nativity Scene for many reasons, but I believe that he uses Joseph to show us to love all members of our family... no matter the situation or circumstance.  Joseph accepted Jesus as his own... We have to accept family members as our own when we vow to marry... don't be the person who everyone hates to see coming... don't be the person that everyone tip toes around... don't be the person who is "too much".... be quiet this year... be reverent... be focused on others instead of yourself...

Joseph loved Jesus... Joseph loved Mary... Joseph loved God... he did the right thing and I'm sure if Jesus was asked who his father was he would proudly say Joseph and God.  If you are a step-parent... I can't think of  a better compliment that being called Mama or Daddy by the children... it isn't the child's fault the parents divorced.... be the connecting factor that brings the family together... don't be the reason the family separates.

Thank you Lord for sending Joseph... to show me how to love family who isn't blood kin... thanks for the reminder that on the night of Jesus's birth... you thought enough about each character in the story to still teach us lessons even in 2018.  Thank you for the role model of Joseph.  I believe that he was a peacemaker, and my prayer is more people would be like him.

The Best Daddy in the World

Of course I'd say my daddy was the best... I choose to remember all the good things he did and said for me... I'm sure others might think differently, but to me... he was a good, good daddy...

Why was my daddy good one?  Well... I have three things that let me know that he loved me...

One of my very first memories is Daddy carrying me down the road... okay, he was running down the road.... one night while we were out trick or treating.  It started raining and I remember being in his arms and finally beating Jim and Guille in a race... I loved being up real high and going real fast.

When I think about this as one of the first memories of Daddy, I think about how our lives are such storms and messes before Jesus enters them... not that my life became perfect after I was saved, but I did have the comfort of knowing that during storms and messes now I am going to be okay.  Bad times are going to come to everyone.  Our response to the bad times is a choice.  We can choose good or evil... it's that simple.  I'm thankful that Daddy and God both picked me up when it started storming and I was safe in their arms.  I thankful now that He is still there when I need Him... at all hours of the day.

Daddy used to take me to school every day... I never realized how much he watched over me to protect me during that time... I distinctly remember idolizing a girl in the grade ahead of me and her style in clothes... everyone loved her... and one day she bragged about wearing her jeans tight to be noticed... she even said that particular morning the jeans were so tight that she had to get a clothes hanger to zip them.  Being a follower... I decided I would go home and dig in the back of the closet for those Chic jeans and zip them with a clothes hanger.  I should have known better... for one... I was miserable... At 100 pounds in the 8th grade, I probably needed a size three... and these were a girls' 10.  Not really sure of the size... but they felt like a 2T!  I examined my butt before I left the house and thought "there is no way I can wear them any tighter"... I'm sure I was slow to get in the car because I could hardly sit down in them.... Daddy drove me to school... kissed me goodbye... and I walked by the group of boys waiting at the outside door.  I am sure I had fries with my shake that day.... that night... Daddy was grilling and I went outside.... I had on shorts... and he said, "Don't wear those jeans you had on anymore to school"... I looked at him like he was crazy and he said, "Those boys stared you down when you went in the door... they didn't look at you before today.  I don't want them to think you are trashy and easy.".... I could have died right there... He usually just said what he thought, but I think he was trying to say I looked trashy and easy.... He made me think from that day on about the clothes I put on my body.  As a mama today, I try to teach KB to be modest.  I may have gone overboard because she won't even wear a v-neck shirt!  The lesson I learned was don't wear clothes to get noticed.  Sometimes we think being noticed is a good thing... but are we being noticed for the right things?  I love a new outfit... I love to shop... but I want to be noticed for things besides my clothes.  Daddy taught me that lesson.

When I think about this memory of Daddy, I think about how God tells us that what's on the inside is more important than the outside.  God examines our hearts.... it doesn't really matter what we have on... he sees straight through us.  I have a feeling Daddy may have seen straight through me that day and knew to correct my behavior.  That's what good daddies do... they correct their children's behaviors and don't make excuses for them.

One of the last days I spent with Daddy alone was Memorial Day... I hadn't slept much that night, and I decided I would get up early and drive to Augusta to see Daddy and be back by early afternoon.  When I went to the hospital I took him a Coke and Butterfinger.  It was his favorite.  I fed him his snack and sat down beside him.  He started dozing off and I said, "Daddy I guess I'm going to head back to Greenville"... he said, "Don't leave me Buh... you don't have anything else to do... just sit here and rest".... and I did.  It's hard to type that now.... because I wish I had never left.  I did sit with him awhile and enjoy just watching him rest.

When I think about Daddy asking me to sit with him for a little bit and rest... I know without a doubt that Jesus wants that too... He just wants us to sit and rest with him a little bit each day.  I always tell my women's Bible study group that Jesus is waiting on you every morning to meet him... wherever it may be.... take time to spend time with Him each day.   Don't stand him up and not show up.

As we look at Joseph and his "Son", I feel sure that Joseph taught Jesus lessons along the way... most historical accounts think that Joseph was about 90 when Jesus was born (don't hold me to that)... so he was most likely dead when Jesus died.  But Jesus knew who his real father was... For those of you who are fathers... make good memories with your children... teach them lessons... be honest with them... teach them right and wrong using the Bible as a guide... (not the world)... For those of you who have fathers still... spend time with them... make memories with them... and share them with your children... and for those of you who don't have fathers... think of the memories you have and what you learned from them... I'm sure you can relate some of your lessons to ways that God was part of the lesson too.

I loved my daddy more than anything in the world... but the BEST daddy in the world had to be Joseph.... he was given the responsibility to train Jesus in his childhood... I have no doubt that God led him the entire way... would God be happy with the way you are training your children and grandchildren?  Let Joseph be your role model and as you look at him in the Nativity scene... thank God for sending him to watch over Jesus... and thank God for allowing there to be that ONE perfect child... ours aren't perfect...you can have great expectations, but show your faith in the way you respond to your children's behaviors.  Strive to get a jewel in the Best Daddy crown as you go through life.

She's in LABOR!!!

I don't really want to search google for a picture to add here of a woman in labor, but I think we have all seen the pictures of the woman screaming with the doctor ready to catch the baby and the husband at her head... in complete shock.... have you ever really thought about the night that Jesus was born... and Joseph... and what he thought... allow me to think out loud for a minute.... nothing based on Biblical facts.... just what I think. 

There were no doctors to tell that Mary was dilated or ready to push or if the baby was breech....I'd like to think that God blessed her with an easy delivery, but somehow I think that God let her go through what most women do during labor.  My pregnancies were terrible... I had c-sections with no pain... and my babies were precious.... some people have it the other way around... you know... easy pregnancies... natural delivery... and bad children!  I won out on that one!  As I think of Joseph... I know Jesus was the perfect child... so I have to think that the delivery was a hard one. 

Delivery is nothing a woman wants to go through alone, and I don't believe that Joseph left her alone... I believe that he was there for her ...by her side every minute... he probably held her hand when she cried... he probably pulled her hair back from her face while she was pushing... he probably told her how proud he was of her as he looked into the face of the newborn baby.  Most new wives think that the day they get married is the day they love their husband the most, but for me... I'll never forget the day KB was born... it's a new kind of love... when you see a father hold the baby for the first time. 

As you think about the Nativity scene... and Joseph... think of his sacrifice for doing the right thing and staying with a bad situation.... think about how he was there for Mary... and think of how he probably was overjoyed with relief as he watched the birth of his child....

Think of how happy God is when we accept him as our father... how happy he is to hold us in his arms.... how happy he is when we look up to him and smile with tears in our eyes.... Joseph stuck with the bad situation just like God sticks with us even when it would be easier to kick us to the curb.  God sticks with us when we are sinful, when we are jealous, when we are mean, when we are boastful... yeah, I just used characteristics to describe myself... but I know He sticks with me... just like Joseph was there for every second of Mary's delivery... When I look at Joseph... I know that God can love me just like Joseph loved Jesus... he wasn't his biological father... but he loved him anyway... God isn't my biological father... but he loves me even more than Daddy did.  If He can love me... I can love everyone!  If He can forgive me... I can forgive others! 

Love your children... even when they do wrong, they make bad choices, they drive you crazy... love them through the bad times.  If God can love us... we can love them.  Thank you Lord for giving us Joseph as a role model to love those who aren't our biological kin... let me always look to Joseph in the Nativity scene, instead of skipping over him, and know that You put him there for me to see a man who loves even in situations that aren't the best. 

Amen!

You are NOT the Father!

I don't think any men read this blog... except for Mark who loves to correct my spelling and word murdering, but feel free to share this week... I may have a word or two for the men! 

How many countless, wasteful hours have I wasted watching Maury claim who is and isn't the father of the baby?  Thank goodness I have my own children now and can't find the time to sit down to watch these shows... even though they are complete entertainment... they also make me realize how lucky I am to not be in that situation.... or at least that is what I told myself when I used to watch them.

This week I'll focus on Joseph... our next important character in the Nativity Scene.  In Matthew 1:18-25, Joseph is introduced to the Christmas story when an angel appears to him and tells him not to follow through with his plan to quietly divorce his soon to be wife who is pregnant.... and he is NOT the father! 

Joseph listened to his gut, or as I call it the Holy Spirit" and did what was right... he didn't divorce Mary quietly... he stayed with her.  I can only imagine the gossip of the town when everyone "thought" Mary was cheating on him.  I'm sure there were those who went to their grave doubting what Mary was saying.  As a preacher once shared in his sermon... Joseph faced a bad dilemma, he received a bold declaration, and he made a brave decision. 

I want to talk about that brave decision.  How many times have men wimped out and worried about what their friends thought... or worried they would look weak... or worried that they wouldn't be included if they made the right decision... and who am I kidding?  Women are the say way.  Brave decisions take a lot of strength, courage, and for me, prayer. 

Mark made a decision many years ago to change his lifestyle.  He wanted to be different.  He wanted to quit living on the fence.  He changed.... and it took me a few years to get in the boat and travel with him, but I decided I might better use him as a life raft.  I think Joseph was like that for Mary.  He was a source of strength for her.... Of course God knew how the story would end up... but what if Joseph hadn't been brave and done the right thing... what if Joseph left her stranded.... what if Joseph hadn't been brave enough to enter into a world that would cause judgment from friends, questions from everyone, and even a time that he would know he wasn't the blood father of a baby being born.  Whatever you might be going through... the answer is in the Bible... You can find comfort in scripture that gives the ins and outs of life. 

Characters in the Bible are used to show us that God uses tough situations to make a difference in our lives.  We all have choices to make... during those tough times we can choose to do the right thing... which may not be the easiest... or we can choose to do what the world would want us to do.  When you look at Joseph in your Nativity Scene... think about a man who did the right thing... he didn't worry about the world and what they would think... he didn't leave Mary stranded with a baby... and he didn't take the easy road out.  Think about the ideal man who sacrificed for his soon to wife... and I picture him loving his wife just as Christ loved the church.  And yes, that's from the Bible. 

Who Did You Tell the Secret to First?

First of all, this is NOT one of my ultrasound pictures.  I'm just sitting down from cleaning the house and getting myself organized for the Clemson game/ Thanksgiving activities this weekend.  I have to work Monday and Tuesday, so I am trying to get ahead a little before the mad rush begins.  I would get up and dig out the ultrasound, but once I sit down... that's it! 

As I spend the last day focusing on Mary, I can't help but focus on her relationship with her confidant... her friend... her cousin... Elizabeth.  Never really studying the before and after of Luke 2 (The Christmas Story), I learned a few years ago the importance of Elizabeth to the story.  How could I miss this part for so many years? 

Zechariah and Elizabeth were childless.  Zechariah served in the temple to make sure there was continuous burning of incense while worshipers were outside praying.  When he was alone in the temple, an angel appeared and startled him.  The angel told of his son, John, to be born... he would never drink wine... he would be filled with the Holy Spirit before he was born... he would go before the Lord and turn the hearts of parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of righteous... he would make ready a people prepared for the Lord.  

Now Zechariah doubted this angel... (I would have too!)... But Gabriel tells him he was sent to tell the good news, and now because Zechariah doubted Gabriel... Zechariah would be silenced until the birth of the baby.  (This frightens me just a little... what if I don't listen to what God says and he tells me to be quiet.... I LOVE to talk).  

When Zechariah came out of the temple, he couldn't speak and people realized something happened.  Elizabeth became pregnant and her "disgrace" was taken away.  (Isn't it a shame that we look at women who can't have babies disgraceful?)  

In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, Gabriel visited Mary... she was troubled by his words to her. Gabriel also told her about Elizabeth being pregnant.  

Mary quickly got ready and went to Judea to tell Elizabeth of her visit from the angel... Elizabeth's baby leaped in her womb when she heard Mary's voice.  


I never got to have an exciting time to tell about my pregnancies... with Katie Britt, I started spotting early after I chased a student down the hallway when he knocked on my door...I guess I forgot I was pregnant.... I was sicker than sick and Donna, our school secretary, called Mama to tell her I was pregnant.  Shortly after, I had a chicken casserole at my door from Kathryn.  Don't you love that people bring food when you are sick?   I bet they did that in Mary's time too! 

With Ben, 8 weeks into the pregnancy I had a gallbladder attack.  I had been hurting all night long... I thought I was having a miscarriage... dumb me went to work anyway.  As soon as I got there, I pulled three desks together to lay across and Staci entered the room.  I was hurting and in pain and she immediately said, "You are pregnant!"... I told her I was, but she was going to have to drive me to the doctor.  I think Ben attached to her from that point to now! 

As we start this Christmas season, I hope you have a friend.  I've been lucky in life... I have different groups... I keep in touch with my high school friends through a group message.  We often pray for each other... always have smart comments about stupid things we did (and possibly still do)... and we have been pillars of strength during the death of our parents.  I'm lucky in that my high school friends are also my college friends.  We decided we needed to stay together after high school!  After I moved to Greenville, I have my friends here that I'm so lucky to be able to reach out to at any minute if I need them.  We don't see each other often, but we know the other is there if we need them.  They have also been a source of wisdom for me as I dealt with Daddy's death.  I know what true friendship is now... it took me years, but I know the relationship that Elizabeth and Mary had... true friendship is about being around people who build you up and are happy for you... and about loving your children like they love theirs... and being there in the good times and bad times... and most of all, encouraging you when you need it! 

This statement is SO TRUE:

Mary is such an important part of the Christmas story... she followed God's lead and is still remembered today for her loyalty to God's direction... she was a good mother, a follower of her Son where ever he went, a faithful wife, and a good friend.  Focus on what you can do to be better in each of these areas.  Is there someone who is hurting this Christmas season because they don't have a friend, can't have children, have lost a parent, have an incurable sickness, and the list goes on and on.  I hope that I can do something for someone else this Christmas season that allows them to see Jesus in my heart... what a wonderful way to spread His love... by doing something for someone else. 

My Mary is named Jane....

My Mary... My Jane

There is no doubt how much Mary loved Jesus.  She was a part of his miracle birth, watched him grow into a fine young man, was there when he performed his first miracle (with his mother's encouragement of course), and was there at his death.  I can think of no other role model for mothers besides Mary. 

I'm not bragging... just telling a few facts... Mama had a heart for making her children be something.  Although Jim and I could never measure up to the perfection of that middle child of hers, she was determined that all three of us would graduate from college and be able to support ourselves.  Jim and I took a little extra time and enjoyed ourselves... and through her determination and pushing us... we graduated!  She also played an integral part in our spouses.  While there was no doubt that Jim's "neighbor" was more than a neighbor... Mama thought she was wonderful.  Guille's friend who kept flooding the bathroom was also a perfect fit for him... She could see the love he had for her immediately.  And Mark... she knew he was smart and would take care of me.... What people don't know is what went on behind the scenes... she didn't let us date everyone we wanted... she and Daddy put their foot down and said no!  They didn't care if it might make us want to date someone more if they said no..... She was known to forget to tell Jim and Guille about girls who would call them... girls shouldn't call boys.  She was also known to tell me quite often that I needed to quit chasing "such and such" because he didn't like me.  The fact is she didn't like him!  Thank goodness for Mama's intuition.  Mama has also been there for us when we needed strength and prayers to get through situations. 

When I picture the love that Mary had for Jesus... I picture the love that my mama has for me.  That little girl in the middle is really lucky.... she gets to be raised just like I was.... she isn't out at all hours of the night like I was, but she definitely has been told to leave certain boys alone, that she WILL graduate from college and be able to support herself, and that I will be here for her no matter what she does to disappoint or thrill me.  I'm her mama and that love will never go away.  I hope one day she will call me every morning on her way to work to check on me... she will invite me to stay at her house for the weekend... and she will think going to church is just as important as I do.

Some people are spending their first Christmas without their mama.... or maybe their fifth or sixth.... and some may not know their mama at all.... but for those of you who have a great, good, or could be better relationship.... this Christmas.... open your heart to spend a little extra time with the one who brought you into the world.  Think of the love that Mary had for Jesus.... your mama loves you too... no matter what you have done.  For those who don't have their mama... just remember the good times... and smile... pass on the traits she left you with... and think of her as you look at your nativity. 

Dorothy, Dorothy... where are you?

When Katie Britt was about four I took her shopping at the mall with Mama.  We were in Belk and I looked at the stroller and she was gone... At first I just thought she was with Mama over at another rack of clothes, but as Mama came towards me... I could tell she wasn't there... My heart dropped and I screamed Katie Britt's name over and over... no answer.  I was yelling at Mama... she was yelling at me... we both took our eyes off of her and she was gone...

I couldn't understand why she wouldn't answer me and I couldn't understand how she had gotten away from me... As I stood there, I began to go into survival mode and the thought struck me that she might be imitating her favorite character.... She watched The Wizard of Oz every morning on the way to the daycare.... keep in mind she only watched the first fifteen/twenty minutes every day.... she would never start where she stopped... we had to start over.  She would tell me every day.... "Here she comes Mama... "Elvira Gutch".... Go Dorothy, Go..... AND THEN IT CLICKED.....

I turned back to her stroller and said, "Dorothy.... where are youuuuuu?".... and she peeped her head out of the clothes rack that was right beside me and the stroller and said, "I'm right here Mama!"... I could have killed her... but I didn't.... I picked her up and told her how much I loved her and to please always answer to KB... and we would play Dorothy at home.  She didn't know the fear that was in my heart that day.  I hope another mother can comment and let me know you have had your children do the same thing to you!  But... she was right there the entire time. Right beside... if only I had called out to the right person! 

Luke 2: 41-52 tells of when Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem every year for the Festival of the Passover.  When they were returning home, Jesus had stayed behind without them knowing it.  Traveling in a crowd, they didn't realize he was missing... they found him after three days in the temple courts sitting with teachers listening to them and asking them questions.  Everyone was amazed with his answers... and his mother asked why he stayed back without them knowing... and they were anxiously searching for him.  Jesus wanted to know why they were looking for him because "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"... they didn't understand it at the time. 

How many times do we not understand what our children are doing?  How many times as a parent do we question what our children are doing and think we know the best thing?  How many times are we so frustrated with our children that we miss an opportunity to allow them to grow.  How many times do we miss our children?

I will never excuse KB for not answering me when I called her, but I will look to that situation as a learning experience on my part and hers.  We never think "that" will happen to us.  But... it does.  Just like Mary and Joseph lost Jesus... I've lost KB before... and I lost Ben once in Philadelphia, but it was his fault... not mine!  HA!  We all get "lost" sometimes, but just like I grabbed KB that day and hugged her and didn't want to let her go... I'm sure Mary and Joseph did the same thing.  I can picture them wanting to beat Jesus with a stick for staying behind, but I also know they probably just hugged and kissed him!  The best lesson of this... God grabs us back whenever we call on Him.... and hugs us and gives us comfort. 

Today... is God calling you... looking for you... wondering where you are?  Have you been gone from him for a minute like KB... or for days like Jesus was missing from his parents... or have you been gone from His love for a long time.... Have you ever met him?  Have you heard from Jesus... are you missing from Him? 

Jesus wants you to meet with him every day... he wants to know where you are... he wants to know your "Life 360" location.... He is waiting each morning on you to meet with him... wherever that may be.  If you are wondering what you can do... just sit down and talk to him... He is there.  Answer him when he calls... and don't be like "Dorothy"! 

I'd love to invite my readers to be a part of a quick, 5 minute devotional that I can you to.... it's free... all you need is a phone to download apps!  As we prepare our hearts for the Christmas season... I hope you can spend at least 5 minutes with Jesus each morning.  Send me a message through Facebook and I'll add you to group.