They said I would think of him every day....

They lied... I have thought of him almost every hour of every day!  I have many friends who are in the club that I joined a few days ago, and I was told that I would think of Daddy every day.  I have laughed, laughed until I cried, and cried through the memories of Daddy.

I can't name the number of times that I have wanted to pick up the phone to call him and ask a question.  Looking back, I'm sure that I worried the snot out of him calling 100 hundred times a day.  Everything going on with politics, shootings, and FoxNews alerts coming through my phone have had me wanting to ask a million extra questions.   I relied on him too much for my political views!  I'm having to do my own research and find out who is crazy and who is really crazy!  All politicians are crazy... and they spend too much money.  The educational system could have been fixed in Georgia if the candidates had put that money towards something other than television ads!  He would have loved this past week in the news... he would have been so happy that the Republicans won the Georgia election.  He would have been watching CNN and MSNBC to hear that side of the story.  He would have been concerned that the Democrats were sneaking up on the Republicans.  He would have loved every minute of it.  I'm keeping my channel on Fox because I know the viewer ratings will go down because he isn't at home watching!

I wanted to call him this weekend as we headed to Myrtle Beach too.  For as long as cell phones have been in existence I have called him at the I95 interchange... it's confusing to me.  The directions for that few miles make no sense to me.  I had to use WAZE instead.  I made it there safely.  We played putt putt every day we were there... as Ben was playing one day he decided to putt left-handed for Daddy.  I started too.  It didn't help... we still lost to KB and Mark.  Daddy would have said we were stupid and knew better than to switch up our putting!  We saw old men shuffling across parking lots... and we laughed... calling them Butch.  He would be mad about that.

I spent Father's Day on the beach.  I only teared up once when I ran into an old friend and started talking about him.  I have the BEST friends in the world!  The text messages thinking of me on that day were overwhelming.  I was filled with love and support on a day that could have been really sad and depressing.  I have had pictures all week long come up on my Timehop with Daddy in them... Father's Days of the past and our trip to San Antonio a few years ago.  If there was a "good" time for this... it is now... I'm excited every morning to see what comes up on my phone.  For the past few years, I have been mad at myself for putting a corny Facebook status up when I first got one.  My mind has changed now... I am reminded of so many things by the memories!  I love it.

I've also got voice mails that I had saved on my phone.  I never knew why I saved them, but I'm glad I did.  I just wish I could remember what I had asked him when he was calling to leave me an answer!

Poor Mama is getting more phone calls than ever from me.  She is getting double duty phone calls.  Every time I think of something to ask him... I call her.

KB and Ben are doing well with this.  They have laughed, picked, and made fun of Butch things.  It makes me smile that they smile.  It makes my heart happy that they remember the good things about him.  It makes me happy that they talk about him.  It makes me happy that they have SO many memories of him.  It makes me happy that I have SO many memories of him.  It makes me happy that  I can still hear his voice telling me things without him really being here.  The hours and hours in the car, waiting rooms, and hospital rooms are wonderful now.  They were blessings in disguise.  If I could give any advice... make memories... take lots of pictures... and write, write, write.  Write down what they say, write down what they do, and write down what they think.  It is a wonderful thing to have!

As Malynn says in Steel Magnolias... we get through this and "Life Goes On".... I always imagined what it would be like because I knew eventually that Daddy's nine lives would run out... I find peace in knowing that his body is complete now.  He doesn't hurt anymore.  He can see!  He can walk!  He can do anything he wants!  I'm not sure if Heaven has a golf course or not, or good food, or a news channel, but I'm sure that he is happy... he is whole... and he wouldn't come back if he could!  I find comfort in that and know that the peace I have in my heart is real.  I'm choosing to take the road of fun memories, laughs, and Butch sayings instead of being in a depressed state.  That's what he would insist on...