When Little Boys Cry....

Ben's had a hard few months... for several reasons... He is growing up fast and realizing that life sometimes throws curves that no matter how hard you practice... you miss the ball and strike out.  I'm not real sure if there is anything that breaks my heart more than to see him cry.  I've held his head in my arms many times lately and let him cry. 
I guess I should worry if he is weak... but I know he isn't... in my heart, I know that those tears he is crying are making him stronger and making me prouder.  I'm a crier.... I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, and I cry when I'm angry.  I cry when I say things I shouldn't, and I cry when I think of things I should have said.  He gets it from his mama....
I think reality that his favorite little buddy isn't coming back to chase him on the four-wheeler, or ride with him in the golf-cart, or shoot basketball with him, or share an afternoon snack of pepperonis is hitting him.  The tears keep flowing when he gets with me.  I'm proud that he knows how to hold himself together... and I'm proud that he isn't afraid to let his emotions show behind closed doors. 
When little boys cry... it makes their mamas cry too... it makes their mamas want to take away pain... and sometimes I lose my place and think I might even go buy him a new friend tomorrow... AND THEN I SNAP BACK TO REALITY.   

Ben's comments tonight about "It's sure hard to lose a good dog, My heart hurts real bad, and I'm gonna miss playing with him everyday" let me know that dealing with death isn't too easy at any age... sometimes it hits immediately like it did with KB... and sometimes it takes a few days... whatever the time frame for dealing with death... I wish there was a magic wand to take away the pain... May my children find faith in their prayers for healing hearts~  


Ben- I wish I could take your hurt away... I'm glad you aren't afraid to cry... I hope that time will heal this wound and the tears will dry up soon... I want to see your smiling face at night again....  I love you, Boo!  

Love, Mama