It all sounded like a great idea when I signed up to lead a professional development class about writing. I thought to myself that it would be easy... I would tell my story of writing, show them my blog, and then they would write. But as I sit here the night before this class starts... I realize that I have a lot to tell that may be better written down than told. It's the story of my struggle and why I think writing is important.
I remember the night I crawled in bed beside Mama (who by the way read every night while I fell asleep beside her... I slept with Mama and Daddy until I was about 12...for real) and told her that I wanted her to teach me to read... I told her I could say the words but I wasn't as fast as the other children in my room. She listened to me read and told me I would be fine. How could she ever know there was a problem?
Today- I can admit that I made it through high school and never read a book, never studied for a test, never learned vocabulary, and I learned to survive through listening to others. I ended up being an honor graduate, but I often wonder how in the world my teachers didn't know I wasn't right... as I often see in my job now... some children learn differently... I think I was like that... I was labeled gifted in fifth grade, but I often wonder about that too... I would like to consider myself "twice exceptional"... Learning disability/ gifted.... I'm special. But most children who have a disability are also gifted in another area... it's my job to find that strength and pull from it... good teachers recognize this and make all the difference in the world in children with disabilities.
Fast forward to 1996, Furman University, and a reading professor who taught me how to comprehend. Yes, I made it through college listening too. Those first three years were terrible because I couldn't miss class or I would have no clue what was going on... thank goodness I wasn't trying to keep a scholarship... and God help those poor children I taught my first years.... It's only taken me 20 years to understand this entire process. When I sat with him and told him my story... he shook his head and told me that it was a wonder I ever learned to read... being in five different schools in four states by the time I finished second grade was unheard of.... he also told me about writing and the background knowledge of the importance of writing that would lead to better readers. I had never written anything that I wasn't made to write at that point... But those words stuck with me... I would never be a good writer if I didn't write... and how in the world could I teach writing if I didn't enjoy it myself. He also taught me how to comprehend what I read. Yes, I was taught to comprehend during my Masters program. I learned coping strategies that made it easier for me to understand long passages and the craziness of an English textbook. I think this process helped me see the struggles in middle and high school readers and hopefully helped them read a little better when they left my room.
I guess it was like a light switch... it clicked... when I began using the four block literacy method by Pat Cunningham with my 6th graders, I learned to love children's books more than ever... I think I skipped that as a child, and my love for them just grew and grew... I enjoyed reading aloud to the children just as much as they enjoyed listening to all my silly voices... When I grow up... I want to be a nurse, and then I also want to take children's books and write activities that center around those activities that promote reading and writing and math and science and social studies and LIFE...
It was also around this time that the internet began and I had access to blogs... I have been reading blogs since 1999... I get lost in other people's silliness... and craziness... and their lives... one blog in particular brought me through the first months of my pregnancy with KB, another brought me a lot closer to Christ reading about the closeness a mother had for a child who had a bad experience in life, another about a mother who longed to have children and couldn't, and the list goes on and on... there are blogs about everything. Now that I try to write at least once a week to keep up with all our lives, I hardly read those blogs anymore... I miss them. I say all this to make the point that it took me years to read and read and read before I was comfortable with writing about our lives. While many think I may have put all our family's business on a blog, I hate to break it to the readers... but I have more writings that aren't published... only my children will be able to see them... I publish the things I think won't hurt anyone's feelings... I hope I'm successful at that.
I hope I'm successful with my class. I think professional development should be fun, engaging, and insightful. My wish is that when these ladies leave my class they will open up a little about their lives, a little about their thoughts, and a little about their struggles as a teacher. We all have them... I'm in my 20th year, and I'm finally putting it in writing that I struggled with reading... I still have to read things twice... I don't always get what was /is inferred because I take things literally. Of course, just like with anything else in life... when we struggle we are self-conscious about it... I still HATE when teachers make children read out loud... I volunteer to do it in Sunday School sometimes, but I when I get finished I can't tell anyone anything about what I read. Fluency isn't important if comprehension isn't there... We have to move on to that step.
Finally, I believe that music is crucial to my writing... I have just about memorized the link I am posting below. No matter how bad a day, or week, I have been having... I can listen to this music to calm me and get my redneck wanna fight and kick out of me. Those writings that I don't hit the publish button on are usually due to the calming factor of the music. I say this to say that I think it would be great for students to have the opportunity to listen to music while writing... it triggers thoughts...or at least it does for me. I hope I don't bore my "adult students" to death tomorrow, say "um" too much, or use incorrect grammar. But if I do... they can write about it when they get home and earn a credit for it! Writing is important to me... because it is therapeutic... it helps me over the humps... it helps me through the hard times... and it helps me remember the good times. And in the end... the good times are what matters... I hope we have a good time over the next month!
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