FYI- This post is for Ben to have to always remember this special day. When I am long gone...he will always be able to remember the details! I'm sure he won't mind you reading it...
I can remember the day like it was yesterday. I could tell that Betty Carol was having a hard day. I could tell that she needed some time away. I could tell that she was about to break. Watching Bobby those last days before his death had taken a toll on her. I suggested she ride with me to my mama’s house and pick up a chocolate delight that I asked Mama to make because I thought Bobby might take a bite of his favorite dessert. As we crossed the Georgia/Carolina bridge, I can remember telling her I couldn’t even think about the future because I was so mad that Ben, who was only two, would never know how much Papa loved him. I was so mad that the only way he would remember him would be through pictures. I wanted to scream, but I knew I needed to stay strong for her. That was the day I questioned God and thought “Why in the world would you make this family go through this slow, agonizing death?”. Very quickly I was reminded that God doesn’t put us through anything we can’t handle and one day I would see the silver lining in the cloud that was over us!
I can remember the day like it was yesterday. I could tell that Betty Carol was having a hard day. I could tell that she needed some time away. I could tell that she was about to break. Watching Bobby those last days before his death had taken a toll on her. I suggested she ride with me to my mama’s house and pick up a chocolate delight that I asked Mama to make because I thought Bobby might take a bite of his favorite dessert. As we crossed the Georgia/Carolina bridge, I can remember telling her I couldn’t even think about the future because I was so mad that Ben, who was only two, would never know how much Papa loved him. I was so mad that the only way he would remember him would be through pictures. I wanted to scream, but I knew I needed to stay strong for her. That was the day I questioned God and thought “Why in the world would you make this family go through this slow, agonizing death?”. Very quickly I was reminded that God doesn’t put us through anything we can’t handle and one day I would see the silver lining in the cloud that was over us!
I saw
the silver lining this week. For almost
two years, Mark has been saying that we needed to take the children to see Dabo
at Clemson. In fear of not telling the
story correctly, the highlights are: Mark wrote a book, Faith on a Sticky Note, about his daddy and his faith,
Dabo read the book, and Mark and Dabo started emailing!
Tuesday,
October 30, 2012, will be a day that Ben McKinney will always remember. One day I can tell him the story that if his
granddaddy hadn’t died the way he did… he would have never had his dreams come
true.
After
convincing Ben that we were NOT going to see Santa Claus, we headed to Clemson
to meet head coach Dabo Swinney. We
first went to his office in the West End Zone.
Purple and orange were everywhere!
We were greeted by smiling faces and never felt that we were putting anyone
out for having us there. We visited for
about thirty minutes with Dabo and it was time to go. As we were leaving, Dabo called Ben back into
the office and gave him two poker chips with tiger paws and “I’m All In” on
them. Bobby’s favorite thing to do: Play
poker: He was there with us!
As we were ready to walk out the door again, Dabo called Ben
back in again and handed him a Clemson hat that he autographed with “All In” on
it. For those of you who know Bobby, he
never went anywhere without his hat on!
He was there with us!
We
headed over to the practice field after the visit and started watching
practice. Being the cold-natured person
I am, I couldn’t take the wind and cold!
Katie Britt, Hannah, and I left to go buy sweatshirts and find some
coffee. About an hour later we returned
to Mark and no Ben. When I asked where
he was, Mark pointed out to the field.
There was Ben taking every step Dabo took and mocking his every
move. I knew Bobby was with us without a
doubt. This doesn’t just happen with
every little boy. For two hours my
little boy got to follow in the footsteps of Dabo Swinney and watch a football
practice with boys he dreams of being just like. None of this would have happened without
Bobby.
On a
side-note, we were immediately greeted by a precious Down Syndrome boy who I
will call “Cowboy”. He had a notebook,
Clemson attire, and a smile that would light up the world. He asked me a million questions. I answered every one of them. As I stood there, I knew that a few years ago
I would have been so uncomfortable talking to this special needs child. I was afraid of children who had disabilities. Again, because Bobby died, we moved back to
Lincolnton. I took the only job
available, special education, and now I have grown to love these special kids
and I know that just because they may not be what the average person calls “normal”,
they are so special, loving, caring, kind, and they have the biggest hearts of
anyone! I asked Cowboy if he would tell
on me for taking my camera out because I wanted a picture of Ben following Dabo
around. He told me to give him my
camera. A little hesitant at first, I
did and ended up with the best pictures of the two of them! Cowboy needs to be a photographer! You will see several pictures with Cowboy in
them! He says he can hook me up if I
will yell at him from the sidelines at the next home game!
When
practice was coming to a close, Cowboy led us down the field to where the team
had taken a knee around Ben. Ben said
Dabo just talked about not being late to class… I’m glad that is all they had
to worry about! As Dabo was talking, I
saw a #25 hand Ben his “sticky gloves”.
Ben has loved sticky gloves since he first went to see Brandon Barden
play at Vanderbilt several years ago. I
almost cried right there to think how sweet it was to give up his gloves to a little
boy. Today, I found out that boy who
gave up his gloves is from Lincolnton, GA.
Ironically, I didn’t know his number… I can’t wait to see Ben’s eyes
light up when he comes to see us in Lincolnton.
Mark has already contacted him to let us know when he is in town! Thank you C.J. Jones for making dreams come true for a little boy who only wanted sticky gloves for Christmas one year! I am learning more and more about you every day! You are precious!
Ben got
another pair of gloves and a practice football with the Clemson Tiger Paw on
it. He is on cloud nine! Our final treat was a helmet we took with
us. The nicest guy came up and asked if
I wanted it signed. I said, “YES!”. He told me to let him take it so he could get
the players sign it. I wish I knew his
name because he helped us out so much. One
of my favorite signatures is from Tracy Swinney~ #1 brother! Dabo’s brother came over and talked to us and
so, so nice!
As the
final whistle blew, Cowboy got to show
his medal he won at Special Olympics to the team, and they rushed off the
field. We got Ben’s favorite four
players to stop for a picture. It was
freezing cold and I am sure they weren’t excited about stopping…but they never
let on that they were irritated with us!
As the players ran by, I could hear them telling Ben bye and calling his
name. I know Bobby was smiling down on
us. I know he was so excited I finally
saw that silver lining in the cloud of his death. I know that he is proud of the little
grandson that walked in Dabo Swinney’s footsteps. I know that my little baby boy may never get
to play a down of football at Clemson University, but I know that he will
remember this day at Clemson more than any other day of life.
What a
special day it was… I can’t thank the players, Dabo, and even Bobby enough for
making this day one that we will never forget!
We had a great afternoon! I'm not sure that Christmas will even be exciting compared to this day! Thanks Clemson for making my heart smile big! Go Tigers!
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