Dear Ben

Dear Ben,
Eight years ago today I went to the doctor… I was told to report to the hospital! Excitement, fear, and love were just a few of the emotions I felt as I was preparing to deliver you. I ate ice chips for my dinner, and I watched Urban Cowboy for my entertainment.
I have spent some time the last few days just looking through picture after picture of how much you have changed over these last eight years. I have a big lump in my throat because I know that I can’t stop time… Oh how I would love to have you back in my arms…rocking you, feeding you a bottle, or holding you while you were sleeping. I would love to have those precious curls back that were once all over your head! I miss you calling me from your crib with your “pi-pi” in your mouth and five “soft blankets/ tag”… and then begging for “hot juice”. There are so many memories of you that make me smile and cry all at the same time. I see that black tooth and think about how lucky we were that you hit your mouth and not your head! I see you playing, growing, and learning right before my eyes.
This year you have really turned into a stinky, rotten, active little boy! You are in first grade and you amaze me at your “smarts”. You have more common sense than anyone in our entire house. Just a few weeks ago, I couldn’t get the weed eater cranked. You told me to move and proceeded to take the filter off, dip a paper towel in gas, stick the paper in something (I don’t even know the name of), pulled the string… and cranked my weed eater! I think you have been hanging out with Mayonnaise learning all these tricks.
First grade has been a transition for you. You have homework and lots of it! I love that you outsmart me and the teachers and figure out the quickest way to get it completed without looking like you didn’t really care two hoots about it! I love that you think being outside is the best thing in the world. I love that you are a “worker bee”. I love to watch your little brain work and figure things out. Santa brought you a four-wheeler for Christmas, and I think he should have waited… but you sure are doing a good job of driving it. You are turning into a big boy this year!
As I think about how much you have grown this year, I can’t help but wish for good things for your future. I pray that you will find a wife one day to appreciate everything little stinky thing about you! I hope she will put up with a blanket hoarder, a snorer, and crumbs in the bed!
You won’t appreciate this for years, but I thank you so much for being my little boy. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t had a little boy to be a mama to… you keep me on my toes, you keep me up date with all the latest music, and you keep me feeling young trying to keep up with you. I love you precious one! You are my heart…and remember that I will always love you when no one else does! When that first girl breaks your heart… I will fight for you! When you don’t get chosen at recess first… I will choose you! When your daddy makes you work in the yard…I will bring you ice cold water! When your sister picks on you…I will take up for you! When you walk down that aisle to tell God you want to be His…I will be there to hold your hand. When you have bad dreams at night…I will turn the light on and stay up with you. When you are hungry at 2AM…I will get up and fix you something to eat. I am thrilled to be your mama~
Finally~ Thank you for my precious flowers you brought me this week...walking around the circle holding your hand and you stopping to pick me flowers gave me hope that you are going to turn into a fine young man! I love you much!

Mama~