I can remember being so excited every year when it was time for school to start. I would open my notebooks, rub the clean white paper, and rest assured write the neatest I would write all year on that one sheet of paper. I loved the smell of my new school supplies, the smell of the new clothes I had on, and the smell of the classroom. I was five when I decided I wanted to do that for the rest of my life.
Many moons and years later, I sit here as my children are all nestled and snug in their sleeping spots waiting on the first day of school. I am just as excited today as I was 35 years ago.
Sis has been preparing for school for weeks. We have been shopping, gotten the latest fad "feather" put in her hair, a fresh haircut and enough school supplies to last all year! On the surface...she is good... has everything she needs...and looks put together.
She is my child who is a pleaser. She wants to make me happy and anyone else around her happy. My prayer for her this year is she doesn't turn into one of those "mean" girls. I will admit that I was accused of being stuck-up and mean, but I will say that was due to my insecurities with all my freckles, fat legs, and ski-jump nose. I was terrified walking down the walkways during class changes for fear that someone would point out one of my many flaws. I hope she will become self-confident, caring, and compassionate as she grows into her middle school body this year. I know what is coming... those tears over the silliest of silliest things...those tears over not being invited somewhere....and those tears over having the meanest mother in the world who won't let her do the things she wants to do. I KNOW IT...they are coming... I hope I can be sensitive (which isn't in me), and I hope that she knows I love her and I won't let her grow up too fast! I hope she wakes up tomorrow with no fear of going into the middle school and being the best she can be.
Boo, my baby boy, who 7... wow, didn't I just give birth to him??? He is going to first grade. Tonight at open house he received his first folder with a small tree inside of it... I will be sending a tree home to my students next week. In the mounds of paperwork, he was asked to sign three sheets of paper. It only took him 15 minutes to sign them~whew... what am I going to do? I have been accused of giving him a hard time. I do, but he can take it. He is tough, rough, and I know he has my back in all situations. It brings tears to my eyes to think that while I was pregnant I wondered if I would ever love him like I loved Sis. I do... he is so special. He has his moments...we all do, but he has a heart of gold for me.
I have to be honest that I am SCARED TO DEATH of this year coming up for him. I never worried about Sis like I am worrying about him. He is mean as a snake, but he does have a tender heart. I worry that he will be picked on because he is so little, I worry he can't perform well in the classroom because he doesn't care like Sis does about school, I worry he won't be the sponge he should be at this age and learn all those academics...and I worry that he is going to school and repeat the two words he learned from his grandparents this summer. I know I shouldn't... but he is my baby. I have no choice but to bottle all that worry up and throw it over to HIS hands... take care of him, God... let him be to someone else the precious little boy he is to his mama in those moments before he closes his eyes to go to sleep at night.
I also pray for all the anxiety that is felt by so many other parents tonight about school beginning tomorrow...whether it be your baby's first day of pre-school, first day of middle school, or first day of senior year... we all worry...it is natural.
This post didn't go as I had planned...I was going to go with the title~ theme... but my heart got in the way. May my babies look back one day and realize how much their mama loves them, how proud she is of them, and how much she bathes them in prayer in hopes that they will become successful in life.
Here's to the first day!
No comments:
Post a Comment