Happy Birthday Daddy!

Happy 75th Birthday Butchie!

 Last year I chose to remember Daddy's first birthday without him here by keeping my thoughts and emotions to myself... this year... life is different... and I want to write!  I've been scolded for making people cry with my blogs... it's okay though... a good cry makes you feel better! 

I have no doubt that God's timing is perfect.  While I'd give my right and left arm to have Daddy back, I know that circumstances leading us to move, Daddy dying, KB going to Clemson, and life now has been perfectly timed.  I mean who really doubts God??? Honestly, I do... sometimes!  But I know that things have happened for a reason... and I've never believed that more than now!

I'll never forget his funeral and the lady who said, "You left town and he couldn't make it without you!  I don't know how you did that to him!"... I've forgiven her for hurting my feelings, but I haven't forgotten it.  More and more, I know I had to move to make my life more bearable because I am not real sure I could have survived being in Lincolnton every day with so many memories of him.  I still don't love to come home because walking in Mama's house is just not the same.  Even the smell of the best food in the world can't take away the hole in my heart.  I was told that it would never be the same after I married to go back home... that wasn' t true... it was just perfect... but now... not so much.  This past year has been a whirlwind... the past 16 months without him here have flown by...

My life couldn't be better now... I have been blessed beyond measure... given things that I do not deserve... and been placed in an area that I'm surrounded by love from my school family, my church family, and my family.  I can't thank the man upstairs enough for where I am in my life, so when I miss Daddy... I quickly change my thoughts to happy and fun times with him.  So this birthday... he was old as dirt, 75, I choose to remember him with a smile, a laugh, and some great memories. 

This picture is from a McCormick yearbook.... the center... is Daddy... not looking all proper like everyone else... that was Daddy... the center of everything... and making people laugh even when he shouldn't.  He wanted everyone to be as happy as he was!  The pictures from McCormick in this blog are beyond special to me... for you see.... as I look at them... I see the 14 year old that is living in the house with me.  I see Ben.  Numerous people have sent me messages and looked at Daddy's pictures and see the resemblance... I see it too.  But what most don't know... is that I am pretty sure Daddy has come back from the dead and is right here with me... I don't really believe in reincarnation... or people coming back from the dead... but Ben couldn't be any more like Daddy if he tried.... 

I hope I don't lose my job posting this picture... YES... IT WAS IN THE YEARBOOK... but that's Daddy... front row... second from right... grinning... devilish grin... that I see every day in my house... literally... that is like a duplicate of Ben when he is doing everything he can to drive me nuts!  I showed this to Ben and he didn't notice Daddy's hands... but after he did... I could see the wheels spinning... I pray he doesn't do this in a group picture... and I am pretty sure Daddy started smoking at 14... I'm praying for that not to happen too! 

This has been a big week for Ben... while he didn't shoot what he wanted to this weekend in the tournament... my goal for him wasn't to be last place... and he met that goal!  We are thankful he was in the middle of the pack... I'm not the parent that pushes him to win anything... I want him to always love golf... I love being on the course to follow him around... it reminds me so much of Daddy... The video above shows something that Daddy would have loved and probably been a little jealous of... Ben was invited by friends to play at Sage Valley Golf Course in Aiken yesterday... and he got there by helicopter.  I'm thinking that was a sign from Daddy for his birthday... a once in lifetime opportunity... Daddy wasn't too big on school, so he would have been approving this without even thinking!  He would have taken the entire week off to prepare and rest from the trip! 

Daddy is on the far right in this picture... I'm sure he was receiving some kind of basketball award... and this week happened to be Ben's last week of Fall Ball... while we only won one game all season... Ben ran up and down the court like he was winning.... his attitude was wonderful... except one night when a boy called him a really ugly name and he balled his fist up (looked just like Guille when he did) .... He played his best game this week... I don't know how many points he scored... I don't keep up with that... but I know he scored multiple times!  Daddy loved basketball... and he loved to watch his grandsons play any sport. 

This picture is one I had never seen... that is Ben... I mean Daddy standing on the left... on the floor facing the camera... it's all Ben... right up in the middle of a bunch of girls... older girls... and grinning like he  might be doing something he shouldn't.   Ben has always had a girlfriend... sometimes more than one when he was real little... but lately... he doesn't seem to share that information with me... I have a cutie picked out for him, but he is so hard-headed... and of course I know all about not liking who my parents picked out!  As we ride to school each day, we call Mama and talk to her, he has started reading a devotion for us, and then the last few minutes I get to pick on him about who he is Snapping or talking to on Instagram... it drives him crazy... and he is such a smart aleck... just like Daddy... if Daddy didn't want you to know something... you wouldn't get it out of him... but just like Ben... if he had a little piece of gossip... he would tell it in a minute.  I miss Daddy's daily phone calls to me at lunch telling me what he knew... but Ben catching me up on the latest in middle school is filling in that void...

And this picture... it's one of my favorites too... it has three men in it that I've had the opportunity to love.... and all three loved me unconditionally and most importantly, loved Ben... I'd like to think that Ben is graced with a little of all three of them... Bobby's smarts, Jennings's political views, and Daddy's athleticism and personality... and now... his looks.  I look over at Ben every morning in the car and think of Daddy... I see a smaller version of him... and I smile... he'd be so proud of Ben actually listening to the news and being able to talk a little bit about what is going on in the world... I'm sure he is going to be just like me keeping a news channel on all the time now! I learned that from Daddy!

So on Daddy's birthday... I choose happiness... happiness for where we are... happiness for the memories... happiness for the little boy growing into a man right before my eyes that is just like Daddy... and happiness to know that he would be so proud of KB, Ben, Mark, and me! 

He would probably do a little better at getting KB to share with him about recruits at Clemson that she is privy to than what we have done, and he would love to tell people all about the opportunity she has been a part of for Clemson.. he would have loved when I called him this week to tell him Mark was being ordained as a deacon... "the heck you say" would have been his response... he would have wanted to know how Ben played in golf, and be mad I didn't keep up with the points he scored in basketball.... and I'm not real sure proud is the word for me  right now, but I'd like to think that he was extremely glad that I'm trying not to sit around and sulk that he is gone...

I remember him numerous times throughout the day... when I see an old man hobbling around... I giggle and shouldn't... I remember him when I see a red bird... they are in abundance on the golf course as I'm walking... and I remember him when I see salt all over the counter... that Ben has left... when Mark burps loud I think of Daddy... and when I cook food on Saturdays during football season I think of him...

I miss you Butchie... I'm so glad that I have Ben to remind me of you every day... I'm not real sure I deserve to have him acting like you did though... but I'll take it!  We all miss you and talk about you all the time!  You'd be so happy to know that Mama has been going to the chiropractor... she is hurting all over and we are all telling her "just get up and move and you'll feel better"... and she is burning that road up to Augusta to doctors' appointments!  If I didn't see so much of you in Ben, I'd swear you were haunting her!  HA!  I'm thrilled to have so many memories of you... so many memories that allow you to live on forever in our hearts and minds... and I'm so thankful that for the special bond I got to have with you.  I try not to brag too much... but I know you loved me better than anyone else!  I'm sure of that...and for that reason... I have a peace knowing you are like an angel watching over me always.  Love, Buh!