Dear Sis,
There are 20 days until move in day. As our guest room fills up with things to supply a dorm room, it's becoming more and more real that you are about to head off to college. Each package that comes in the mail, each time we pick up a few things here and there, and each time we think of one more thing that you need, my heart wants to be really sad.
My head knows better. I have watched many mothers wear the shoes I'm about to place on my feet, and I find strength in their journeys. Many of the blogs I read will get me through this transitional time. It's just another phase in the life that will lead to be where you are supposed to be. Opportunities seem to be opening daily for you to head in your career path while in college, and I find comfort in seeing how mature you are handling those chances to be an adult immediately.
I know without a doubt that August 17th will be one of those days that I wish I had my remote control again. For once though... I would like to use all the buttons.
I'd love to rewind and spend more time with you when you were a baby in my arms. You were my child who loved to rock while you rubbed your crochet blanket and sucked on that pipi.... Even though I loved you in a bow, my favorite hairstyle was the rooster tail or "mohawk" as some called it. You were my real live baby doll! You didn't fight about clothes to wear. You loved to be in my arms. You were the perfect child... even though I didn't know that until that other one came along! :)
I'd also love to hit the pause button. I can see it in your eyes... I know the feeling... and I'm not real sure what to say to you except "push on and you will be fine". As you spend every waking minute worrying about where I am and what I am doing, I know that the separation anxiety is there. As much as I'd love you to be telling everyone "I can't wait to get out of this house", I know that your honesty is showing in your face and actions that you aren't real sure about leaving home.
I'm happy that you aren't ready to leave, but I can't imagine how hard it is going to be for me to push you out of the nest. I'd like to pause right now... so I don't have to deal with that day! I'd also like to pause because for the first time ever you and Ben have decided that sleeping in the same room is the best option for right now. It's hitting both of you that you are about to leave us, and I'm not sure which one is comforting the other. Y'all have discovered that his bed is much more comfortable than yours, and that brother and sister talks in the late hours at night are the best. I can only hear your "whispers like helicopters", but I pray those are conversations that you two will remember forever. If we could stay like this forever, I'd be happy!
And finally, I'd love to hit the fast forward button... I need that day to be here and be over with... As we talked about yesterday, I need you to hold it together the day we move. You know Daddy is struggling with this moving out of the house thing... expect him to spend his lunch hours coming to visit you... expect him to show up at your dorm randomly... and expect him to find any little reason to bring you a chocolate milk, some ice cream, or a prize from the road. I'd like to tell you he is joking about the "gap year", but I'm beginning to think he is serious. You and I are both going to have to console him. No matter what he tells you... or says to you... just act like you are having the best time in the world! This next year will be quite an adjustment for him.
You will never know how much you're loved! I will continue to bathe you in prayer every day... for safety, for health, and for undeserved blessings. All I can do is put it in God's hands that we have done everything we can to prepare you for the world you are about to enter.
Remember my advice:
If Jesus comes back... would he be happy with where you are, what you are doing, and how you are acting? (I sure didn't live by this in college, but I want you to do it!)
If it's a secret... it probably isn't the right thing.
If you make a mistake... it's okay. Mistakes are learning opportunities and no matter what you do... I'll love you!
You are determined to be "Different"... Graduation recognition at church the song was sung by Micah Tyler, and I am glad you have chosen that as your theme. Listen to the words when you are having a hard time. Listen to the words when you are struggling. Listen to the words when you need a little love.
You are going to be just fine as this next journey comes along... besides... you are going to have to keep the rest of us straight about our schedules, our responsibilities, and our "what we have to do for XYZ lists..." You aren't going to have time to worry about your life because you will still be telling us what to do!
It's your time to shine Katie Britt! Stand boldly for your faith, your beliefs, and your dreams!
Mama
